My tone is flat. There are no emotions left to give. Not right now.
The funeral director heads to the front, so I move to take my seat. Wyatt doesn’t let go of my hand as I do. He sits right next to me.
“Thank you for coming today. We are here to celebrate the life of Jerry Wayne. He was a loving father, a dedicated brother, and an amazing person overall. The family has asked to keep the service short, but his children do want to say a few words about him. Then we can open the floor for anyone else to do the same.”
Mr. Hopkins nods to us. We agreed I would go first.
Standing, my legs feel shaky. I make several steps toward the podium before I lean against it, needing it to help me stand.
I was emotionless before, but knowing this is it, my final goodbye, has the tears threatening.
“My father was the best dad I could have asked for. He was never quick to anger. Even when we would make mistakes, he would reprimand us but also turn it into a lesson so that we learned why what we did was wrong. He helped shape who I am today. He had a heart of gold. If you needed the shirt off of his back, he would hand it to you without a question. He was selfless in a way that most people only claim to be. My best memoriesfeature him in them. From playing penny poker to learning to kick ass at darts. Reading silly stories together to watching his favorite show,The Rifleman, for hours on end. The most buttery popcorn that was likely unhealthy for us.” I smile through my tears. “He taught us to fish and hunt. He took us bowling, to the movies, to laser tag, and mini-golf. You name it, and our father did it with us because there was one thing that mattered most in his life: his children. We are going to miss you, Dad. You were the glue that held us together, but don’t worry about us. Will and I will patch up the hole you left. We won’t let go of one another. We love you.”
I sniffle as I blow his picture a kiss. Then I make my way back to my seat. I make it there, Wyatt ready to hug me to his side.
That’s when I lose it. I let all the pain out. I sob into him as Will takes his place.
I don’t hear a word, though.
Watching Lyla slowly break is killing me. I don’t let her know that, though. She needs me to hold her, so I do.
When Will finishes, he is as much of a wreck as Lyla. They hold one another as other family members go up to speak. Once I’m sure Lyla is going to be okay, I stand to make my own statement.
Lyla looks confused when I take the podium.
“I didn’t know Jerry as long as any of you. In fact, I only met him a few months ago when I started dating his daughter, Lyla.I didn’t get to see him in his glory days before his mind betrayed him, but I did get to know who he was. He was a strong man. He cared deeply about his children. He worried about them even when they didn’t realize it. He was a shark at cards, and on a good day, he would kill it atJeopardy. He was a great man, but even if he isn’t here physically anymore, I know his spirit lives on. I see it when I look at Lyla and Will. I can see the values he instilled in them. The best parts of him becoming his legacy as he passed them down to the people he loved most in this world. I am very sorry I didn’t get to know him better, but the little bit I knew ensured I would miss him nonetheless. Rest easy, my friend.” I finish my speech before going back to take my seat.
Lyla whispers to me, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I didn’t do it for you, though. I liked your dad.”
She forces a small smile. “He liked you too.”
The funeral director finishes up the service. When we all stand, I turn to Lyla.
“We can follow you to the cemetery,” I tell her.
She shakes her head. “No cemetery. Dad hated them. He wants his ashes spread. Will and I will be going to do that now.”
“Are you sure you don’t want some support? I don’t mind. I could drive and wait in the car.”
She sniffles. “I appreciate it, but this is something we need to do alone.”
“Understood.” I cup her cheek. “I’ll be here when you are done.”
“Hey, Wyatt. Can you walk her out to my car? I need to say goodbye to a few people. Lyla isn’t a fan of most of the family,” Will says from over her shoulder.
“Why would I be? They all but abandoned him when he was diagnosed. They are only here now for themselves, not for him,” Lyla mutters.
“I’ll take her and wait with her. Take your time, Will.”
He nods, heading away. I hold my hand out to her. She takes it, but she is hesitant. I don’t like that.
“Thank you all for coming.” Lyla says to our friends. “It was kind of you.”
“Anytime. We will be in town until tomorrow if you need anything,” Grace tells her.
Lyla only nods.
