I read the relief in Michael’s eyes when he spots me, but the worry remains as they bound toward us.
“The paramedics are not far behind,” he says, turning to look at Ashley. “Is she okay? Do you need help with—”
“I’m fine,” I insist, tightening my arm around her. His eyebrows go up at my possessive tone, but he doesn’t say a word.
Ashley’s boss steps closer, taking in the scene—Ashley leaning into me, my arm wrapped around her ribs, Penny pressed against my leg. There’s a long beat where I think she’s going to say something pointed.
Instead she just says, “Get her home, Mr. Galloway. I’ll see her when she’s recovered.” Her eyes flick to mine, and there’s an understanding in them I wasn’t braced for. “And for the record—there’s no rule against this. I’d have told her so if she’d asked me.
Ashley’s hand tightens on the back of my shirt. She heard.
There isn’t much said on my part either as we walk back to the house, where we run into the paramedics. What follows is a blur as the medic fusses over Ashley and the rescue team disperses. I take my eyes off Ashley long enough to thank the men who only know me as Michael’s brother but didn’t hesitate to show up. When I return to the ambulance, the medics are done.
“We’ve treated the cuts and scratches so she doesn’t have to go to the hospital. She’ll need plenty of water and rest for the next couple of hours.”
“Thanks,” I tell the pair then wave them off when they climb back into the ambulance. I turn to look at Ashley, who’s seated on the front steps, her head buried in Penny’s nape. Uncertain of how to approach her, I just stand there like a fool, watching her. I don’t turn when Michael joins me.
“I can give her a ride home,” he says, but it sounds more like a question to me. I should say yes. I should let my brother drive her home and hope she forgets about the day—forgets about me. But hell, I can’t imagine losing her. Not again. Not if there’s a chance of making things right.
“I need to talk to her,” I tell him, shrugging my hands into my pockets. “Don’t ask. Please. I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow, I promise. Can I just…”
“Sure,” Michael responds, clapping my shoulder, then he too climbs into his car and drives off. I wait for his car to disappear before making my way toward Ashley.
“I’m going,” she snaps before I can open my mouth to speak. “I just need a minute to catch my breath, okay? Then I’m leaving.”
Her tone is harsh, and it fucking stings. Isn’t that what I wanted? For her to leave so I could wallow in my own pain? Andnow, I can’t bear the thought of spending another night in this goddamned house by myself. I need her too much. Damn it all to hell, but I fucking need her.
“Can we talk?” I flinch when her green eyes shoot to mine, clearer than they were half an hour ago. But now, rage burns in them.
“Please.”
She’s silent for a moment then nods. “Fine.”
I open the door and let us into the house. Penny follows and walks straight to the workout room where the dog bed is. I don’t imagine we’ll see her for a while. Ashley, on the other hand, follows me into the kitchen and takes the water bottle I offer her without a word.
I wait for her to drink before breaking the silence. “I’m sorry for what happened this morning.”
Ashley rolls the bottle cap in her fingers for a moment before she looks at me across the kitchen counter. “Why did it happen?”
“I wasn’t in the right…headspace.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Ashley, I can promise you that I’ll have better control of myself when—”
“No!” She tosses the bottle cap across the counter where it bounces off and rolls to the floor. “I won’t let you brush me off with a simple apology. I want to know why you wanted to toss me out like I didn’t mean anything to you. If you can’t tell me the truth, then I’m walking out the door, and this time, I won’t come back, Matt.” Her voice cracks when she speaks. “You broke my heart with the way you treated me!”
My jaw clenches with the need to shove everything back and bury the truth as I have done for the past couple of months. Of course, it surfaces in the dead of night when I’m asleep, but why the fuck do I need to face it in daylight, too? “Ashley…”
The disappointment in her face barely registers over the heartbroken look she gives me. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll—”
“My brothers died because of me,” I blurt out, watching her eyes widen with shock, but when she doesn’t say a word, I decide I might as well tell her everything. “I was the LPO on that mission. Lead Petty Officer. I ran point with my dog, Bear, a bomb-sniffing K-9. He and I cleared the route at pre-dawn—walked it ourselves, end to end, marked it safe for the convoy to come through at oh-eight-hundred.”
I lower myself onto a stool and drop my head in my hands. “There were eight of us in the Humvee when the convoy ran the route at oh-eight-hundred. The route was clean—I knew it was clean. We’d walked every meter of it in the dark. Somebody planted the IED in the window between my clearance and the convoy run. Two hours. That’s how long the window was. And in two hours, somebody got out there with a device and buried it in the road I’d just insisted was safe.
“Missions like this can injure the soul, even for hardened men. That night, we’d just rescued hostages—men, women, mostly children. We were taking them back to base. The mood was good. Someone made a joke and someone else tossed one back, and soon we were talking about what we’d do when our tour came to an end.”
I don’t hear her move—a testament to the noise in my mind—but I feel her hand on my shoulder, and her head rests over mine. So I keep going.
