Colin’s somber eyes turned in my direction. “You wouldn’t run from the church and hide in the woods?”
I tried to laugh, but the sound lodged in my throat. “No.”
I felt Colin’s gaze on the side of my face, but he said nothing more. I refused to ask him to remedy the situation. I hadn’t told him until now because I hadn’t wanted him to feel responsible to. He had Eloise’s upcoming Season to fund, an estate to manage, and I had spent my entire life disregarding the burden it all was for him. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
“I have accepted my circumstances.” My throat felt tight as I turned back toward the road. “And please do not pity Sir William. He is a lucky man.”
Colin was still silent as we resumed our walk. Words of sympathy did not come naturally to him, but I was content withthat. There were no words that could fill the hollowness in my chest, so we walked quietly back to the Circus.
CHAPTER 29
ARABELLA
Dear Kate,
Are you faring well in London with Mr. Ollerton? You must tell me everything, even how boringly pleasant the weather is, for I am in desperate need of a friend and a distraction. I hope my letters are reaching you, as I have used the very last of my coins to send them, and without so much as a single reply. I will forgive you this once, for I know you must be quite occupied. Although perhaps not as occupied as I have been.
Sir William has called often enough now that Mrs. Wickerton and others in Bath have taken notice. We danced thrice at the assembly rooms last week, which has led me and many others in town to believe he will soon make an offer. The only ease I feel at the prospect is that I most likely won’t have to ensnare him in order to be one step closer to sealing a happier fate for Freddy. I know you must be curious about Mr. Campbell, but I have nothing to report but that we havekept our distance from one another since I bid him farewell in Sydney Gardens.
You ought to be here to advise me on how to properly accept a proposal, though I suspect you would only laugh at my inability to be charming. Even despite my shortcomings, Sir William already looks at me with great admiration, and I have done little more than speak politely and allow him to hand me refreshments. Perhaps that has always been the secret to securing a man with a fortune.
Please write as soon as you can.
Yours affectionately,
Arabella
I stamped the letter with a wax seal before taking it, along with the last of my coins, down to Milsom Street with Hannah.
We walked along the crowded street, dodging horses, carriages, and even horse droppings. The day Clark had laughed at his own misfortune of stepping in the manure should have been the day I realized he wasn’t Colin.
My heart stung each time I thought of him.
I had hoped time would put distance between us, but it seemed to draw him closer to my heart instead. The gossip about Colin’s mysterious twin brother had been circulating throughout town, and while it had been a welcome distraction from any talk of my courtship with Sir William, I felt unable to escape the memory of Clark and the time we had spent together. Regrettable as it was, I would cherish it always, even if it kept my heart from ever truly healing.
It had taken all of my strength, but I hadn’t wavered in my determination to move forward in my courtship with Sir William. There was not yet an official understanding between us,but I was confident that he would make his intentions known soon enough.
Poor Freddy had been losing his mind confined to our rooms, and Aunt Julia had tried to drag him out on more than one occasion. I took comfort in knowing that soon he might be free and the matter could be put to rest. Sir William would make a very suitable husband. I told myself that daily.
And suitable was all I could afford.
Each time I ventured away from our rooms above Newbury’s, I dreaded the possibility of passing Clark on the street. I had already seen him at the assembly rooms, and at the Pump Room, and even through the windows while he and Colin sat in the Roman Baths. I had been taking tea with Sir William there one day, and I had been forced to look straight ahead and pretend I hadn’t seen Clark observing our interaction.
I lowered my bonnet on my forehead as I exited the post office with Hannah. It wouldn’t make me unrecognizable, but it did make me feel better. We walked for several seconds before a pair of shiny black boots stopped me in my tracks. They weren’t Clark’s boots. They weren’t Colin’s either.
I looked up slowly, my heart climbing to my throat. Mr. Russell stood in front of my path as if he had been waiting for me. Had he seen me enter the post office? Fear gripped my shoulders, but I managed to stand still and keep a nonchalant expression.
“Miss Sharp, how fortuitous. I was just on my way to call upon you.” His gray-speckled hair curled forward beneath his hat. His eyes were not overly menacing, but I had already painted him as my enemy. There would always seem to be a dangerous gleam in his gaze.
I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “How may I be of assistance?”
“I wished to inform you on behalf of your brother that the matter between us is settled. He should have no reason to make a hasty return to Bath.”
“Settled?” I lifted my eyebrows in gentle surprise, though my heart galloped with shock. “Would you provide further details?”
Mr. Russell chuckled under his breath. “An anonymous donor has repaid his debt in full, which will conclude my business with young Frederick.” His countenance was suddenly much more pleasant, and I wondered if it had ever been anything but. “I trust you will relay this information to him as well as your elder brother?”
I took far too long to nod my agreement. “Y-yes. Of course.” I must have looked unwell again, because Mr. Russell cast me a look of concern as he bowed in farewell.
