We both look down at the space between us as he puts on the condom, then he reaches back up with one hand to lace our fingers together. The shape of him rests against the shape of me, both swollen with want. He smiles and uses his other hand to guide himself inside me. The first push feels a little like heaven, a little like a battering ram. I moan through our kiss, our skin hot and our sweat mingling into one scent. I might be havingan out of body experience, but it feels like we’re just two forces of energy colliding and combining and creating this new thing, this being with two heads and four legs. I guess this is what the Greeks went on about. The right combination of one and one makes something more than two.
“You feel—” He punctuates his words with a thrust. “So—good.” His breath is hot against my ear and I’m nothing more than a collection of sensations. My body wracking, my heart melting. Life seeping in through my pores.
I start crying.
Eitan notices and slows down. “Are you okay?” he asks tenderly. “Is something wrong?”
I shake my head furiously and bite my lip and smile. “I’m great,” I say. “Really, really great.” My voice cracks and he kisses my cheeks, kisses away the tear tracks until there’s nothing but skin.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he whispers. “I couldn’t process it at the time, but I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.”
I remember the thought I had, the first time I saw him.Soul contact.
“When I caught you crying in the bathroom.” He kisses my cheek again.
I gasp, partially because he’s still inside me and partially in faux-indignance. “I wasnotcrying!”
“You were.” He kisses my nose. “I would know, I’m an experienced public cryer.”
chapter
twenty-seven
The skyoutside the tent is bleeding with dawn by the time we finally sleep. We keep the sleeping bags unzipped so that we sleep with one above and one below, the closest thing we will get to a bed out here in the wilderness.
I sleep like a baby against the furnace of Eitan’s chest. My dreams are studded with blue skies and mountains and seaglass eyes. That is, until Pen’s shrill voice interrupts them. The harsh wake-up is softened by the fact that I’m nuzzled into Eitan’s chest hair.
I remember what happened last night with a delicious zing.
Eitan and I.
Me and Eitan.
Us.
It has a ring to it. If I was in third grade, I’d be doodling our names together on my worksheets.
“Good morning.” Eitan’s voice pulls me back to reality. His eyes are barely open, his hair is a mess, and his arms are wrapped around me.
He’s perfect.
“Good morning,” I say into his chest, feeling shy.
Someone raps on the tent frame. “Hey,” they call from outside.
Eitan groans. “Give me a sec.” He gently moves me off of him, and I get a front row seat to him sitting up and unzipping the tent a crack. His ass flexes with the movement. I am absolutely drooling.
“Yeah?” he asks.
“We’re skipping breakfast,” Josh says through the cracked tent flap. “Gonna get back to the city to get Pen’s…everything sorted out.” Josh sounds defeated.
“Really?” Eitan deflates. “I—we have…something planned.”
“I’m sorry, man.” Josh sighs. “It’s gonna be best if we get an early start back to the city. Whatever it is—we can do it back in Chicago, right?”
“Yeah.” Eitan clears his throat. “All good.” He closes the tent flap and turns back to me. His shoulders are hunched, his eyes downcast.
“Hey.” I sit up to rub his shoulder. “Everything okay?”
