“I know,” he replied.
“Fola hates me,” she said. “I think she’ll resent me forever; they all will.”
“They won’t,” he said.
Perdita shook her head again, feeling the release of fresh tears caressing the sides of her face.
For so many years, she had been the one quietly trying to keep the family together the best she could. She already felt the shift starting when Octavius left, then Billy. And now their father was dead. Another rip in the fabric that was the Button family. She was always the one secretly mending wounds, trying her best to make sure everyone was okay. But she knew that some wounds couldn’t be mended. Some wounds were permanent. And this one had potential to split them all apart forever.
“You don’t know them like I do, Rin. If they find out the truth, they will hate me. And there’s nothing you or I or anyone else could do about it.”
3:53P.M.—THE BUTTON MANOR
Anwar Shah had been dismissed from the Button Manor forty-five minutes ago but, for two reasons, hadn’t left yet. The first of those reasons wasBilal Button.
Right now, Anwar should have been on a five-hour train back to his parents’ house in Boston, where they were preparing a celebration dinner for him for later that evening. He wasn’t even sure his Prodigy of the Year award existed anymore, considering the circumstances, and the dinner was a celebration he didn’t even want to have. For one, Anwar wasn’t really the celebratory type—he barely even celebrated his own birthday. And two, it felt wrong to celebrate anything when someone had been killed.
Instead of being at home with his relatives having this morbid celebration, he was still in New York at the Button Manor during an ongoing murder investigation—of his ex-boyfriend’s father, of all people—engaged in a very steamy make-out session with said infuriating ex-boyfriend.
It was all very strange. Anwar wasn’t quite sure how he’d even got in here. One minute he was being dismissed by the police, no longer a suspect, safe to return back to his normal life. The next he was sneaking away and making a beeline back inside the Manor. He decided he would search for Bilal, wanting to bid him farewell before leaving for good since, after their disastrous conversation that morning in the Manor’s basement, he was pretty certain that Bilal would never want to talk to him again. So he’d quietly knocked on Bilal’s door expecting the worst, but the next thing he knew, Bilal was dragging him into his bedroom and kissing him.
Just like he’d done last night.
Anwar wasn’t sure howthathad happened either. He’d been working up the courage to say hi to Bilal all night, and then when he finally had, it wasn’t long before Bilal was asking Anwar to come back to the Manor with him.
Not that Anwar was really complaining. This was a welcomed distraction from the awfulness of today.
The past twenty-four hours had been the most contact he’d had with the fencer inmonths. After a year of being together, he and Bilal had broken up several months ago, ending their relationship in the most amicable way any two people could choose to break up.
It had started with a conversation about how long distance clearly wasn’t working for either of them, with Anwar living five hours away and Bilal never being free to hang out whenever Anwarwasin New York City. The fencer spent his days and nights training, no time for rest or distractions. The last thing Anwar wanted was to be an unsupportive boyfriend or be the thing holdingOlympic gold medalist Bilal Buttonback from his massive career. So for the sake of them both, he had been the one to suggest that maybe they were better off as friends. And to his disappointment, Bilal did not fight him on it; instead he nodded and agreed that that was what they would be from there on.
Friends.
By Bilal’s definition, it was perfectly normal to ignore yourfriendfor eight and a half months. Their breakup had been the last time they had spoken. Anwar was pretty sure Bilal had deleted his phone number, seeing as the other boy wasted no time with unfollowing him on every social media platform he could find and pretending not to notice him whenever they ended up at the same events, such as the YSASFBM (the Young South Asians Symposium for Brilliant Minds) event four months ago where Bilal had flat-out avoided him.
Anwar was almost certain that Bilal had no idea what being someone’sfriend actually was. Because if he did, they wouldn’t be here right now on Bilal’s bed,notbehaving like friends at all.
Up until last night, Anwar had assumed that Bilal hated him. But if the way Bilal was kissing him was any indication of how he felt, it was obvious that the fencer couldn’t hate himthatmuch. Maybe they had something akin tofriendshipafter all—in Bilal’s mind, anyway.
“Ow,” Bilal muttered, breaking their kiss momentarily.
“Are you okay?” Anwar asked, looking up at Bilal, who was hovering over him.
“It’s just my leg, it’s fine,” Bilal said, shifting forward a little to adjust his position before reconnecting their lips without another word.
Anwar’s fingers were tangled in the endless mass of Bilal’s black curls. The fencer’s hair had always been Anwar’s favorite feature of his… That, and many other things.
Anwar felt one of Bilal’s hands slide down to his waist, pulling them impossibly close to each other, so close that Anwar could feel the other boy’s heartbeat. Bilal’s other hand cupped the side of his face, kissing him desperately as though he was scared to let go and lose Anwar forever.
You don’t have to lose me. You could fight for me if you wanted, Anwar wanted to say but never would. It was pointless; Bilal was stubborn and his walls were impossible to penetrate.
Just then the sound of a duck quacking filled the room, startling Bilal, who pulled away from Anwar once again, his eyes wide with alarm.
“What was that?” Bilal asked, searching the large room for any sign of a nearby duck.
Something vibrated in Anwar’s pocket and he pushed himself up onto his elbows. “It’s just my phone, Billy.” Amusement coated his words as he reached into his pocket and pulled the quacking device out. On the screen were texts from his mom, his dad, and his older sister, Aisha. He’d put his phone on a temporary do not disturb, and it seemed his time was now up.
Mom:How long until you arrive?
