“Chi and I have this tradition… Sorry, babe.”
Babe. That’s new.
The bell rings. “AP Calculus with Mr. Duncan or Mr. Calhoun?” he asks her.
“Duncan,” she says.
I smile.
“Calhoun for me and Chi.”
What a pity.
They kiss and I look away again.
“See you at lunch?” Belle asks, looking at Jamie, then me.
“Sure.”
I say nothing, studying my nails for imperfections. I find none.
“Look at you, all loved up,” I say after Belle goes. We make our way down the marble hallway.
“Belle is great, isn’t she?” I can literally see the hearts in Jamie’s eyes as he says this. The way he’s acting, you’d think they’d been dating longer than a few weeks.
“Greatis an adjective, I guess.”
Jamie wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I side-eye him.
What game are you playing, Jamie?
He kisses my forehead. I whack him.
He wipes his mouth. “Why’s there water in your hair?”
I snort. “It’s coconut oil.”
“Smells good,” he tells me, smirking.
I hold his gaze for a moment. A plan starts forming in my head. “Let’s invite Belle today,” I tell him.
His eyes go wide, eyebrows rising.
“Really?” He sounds so excited.
“Yeah, I would love for her to join us.”
“You’re the best, Chi,” he says as we enter Mr. Calhoun’s classroom.
I know, I think, even though I’m not sure how much I believe it. If I were the best, he would have chosen me first.
I learned a long time ago that the key is to make others think you know you’re the best. But what happens when the cracks start to show? When those around you don’t always believe what you feed them? And how can they, when you don’t even believe it, not fully… You pretend that you don’t cry sometimes when you see your reflection, that you don’t stare at other girls and wonder what it would be like to be anyone else but yourself. The real Chiamaka. The person I’m always trying to run away from.
This year I was finally meant to have the perfect boyfriend. I was supposed to leave a lasting impression, make sure everyone at Niveus never forgets me, then move on to greater things.
But it’s not too late. I won’t let these small defeats get to me.
There is a chorus of buzzes and text sounds, and I scramble for my phone, fingers trembling as I clutch it. A text notification from anonymous appears on the screen.
