I approached quietly, my bare feet padding across the cold floor. "Are you okay?"
It was a stupid question. None of us were okay. But I had to ask.
Alex didn't turn. "No." Her voice was flat, emotionless. "Not even a little."
She swallowed hard. I watched her throat work before she spoke again, her voice cracking. "Not okay at all."
The pain in those simple words hit me like a physical blow. This woman who had protected me, who had risked everything, was breaking apart right in front of me.
Kara entered with my suitcase, her eyes immediately finding Alex's rigid form by the window. Something passed between them—a silent communication built from years of working together. Kara's expression shifted from exhaustion to concern in an instant.
She set the bag down with a soft thud and moved toward Alex with the careful precision of someone approaching a wounded animal.
"Alex, talk to me." The gentleness in Kara's voice surprised me. I'd never heard her speak that way before, soft and uncertain, all command stripped away.
Alex's face contorted as she spun away from the window. "What the fuck have I done?" The words exploded from her, raw and jagged. She pressed her palms against her temples.
"My brothers," she whispered, then louder, "My family. And Ma's house..."
Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. One escaped, tracking down her cheek.
Kara stepped forward, her voice gentle. "It was the right thing, Alex."
She reached out, fingers almost brushing Alex's arm, but Alex jerked backward like she'd been burned.
"Was it?" The question tore from her throat. "How do you know?!" Her eyes were wild, tears now flowing freely. "That was Ma's house. Her favorite place in the..."
Her voice cracked and died. She couldn't finish, just stood there shaking.
In the doorway, Cam stood, a wooden spoon clutched in one hand. Ellie hovered beside her, her face wrinkled with worry.
"You're tired, Alex," Cam said, her voice surprisingly soft coming from such an imposing figure. "It'll feel better in the morning."
Alex's laugh was bitter, almost frightening. "Oh? Tomorrow morning I'll feel better about my brothers wanting to kill me?" She swiped angrily at her tears, smearing them across her face. "About Arturo looking at me like I'm already dead?"
Her voice broke completely on the last word. She stood before us, shoulders heaving, the composed tactician gone. In her place was just a woman who had lost everything.
I felt my heart crack open for her. This woman had sacrificed her entire life, her family, her identity... for what? For justice? For me?
The weight of that realization pressed against my chest until I could barely breathe.
I stepped forward, my body moving before my mind caught up. Alex was trembling, her face wet with tears. I touched her cheek, my fingers light against her skin. She tried to look away, but I guided her face back toward mine.
"I can't know exactly how you feel," I said, my voice steadier than I expected. The words hung between us for a moment. "But I know some of it."
Something changed in her eyes then. The fight left her like air from a punctured tire. Her shoulders slumped, and for the first time since I'd met her, Alex looked fragile.
"I know you do, Sabine," she whispered. Her voice had steadied, but tears still tracked down her face. "And it is worth it. It just..." She swallowed hard, more tears escaping. "It hurts."
I pulled her close, wrapping my arms around her. Her body was rigid against mine at first, then softened. I felt her breath against my neck, uneven and warm.
"I know it does," I murmured into her hair.
The strangeness of the moment wasn't lost on me. Alex had been my shield, my protector. She had thrown herself between me and danger without hesitation. Now I held her as she broke apart, my arms the only thing keeping her together. The woman who had chosen me over her family now trembled against me, vulnerable in a way I never thought possible.
"It hurts so fucking bad," Alex whispered, her face buried against my neck.
Her body shook with each sob, and I felt the hot wetness of her tears against my skin. I held her tighter, one hand cradling the back of her head while the other pressed firmly between her shoulder blades. Her grief vibrated through me, raw and terrible.
