Nolan had turned his alarm off the night before, knowing that he didn’t want anything to wake Kai before he absolutely needed to be awake. Yesterday had been such an emotionally loaded day, paired with early workdays and a stressful month, so Nolan was right back to making sure Kai prioritized rest at every chance possible. Still, waking up habitually at five-thirty every morning for over a decade meant he was never going to be able to sleep much later than that. It was a little bit before six when he drifted into wakefulness, sunlight hitting his face from the windows. Kai was draped half across him, his soft hair tickling his chin and his warm breath puffing against his chest.
Memories of the night before floated back to him: eating dinner in bed and then fucking and cuddling until they could barely keep their eyes open.
Kai telling him he loved him after they’d made love the first time, and then again right before he’d drifted to sleep. Nolan’s heart expanded, a smile curving his mouth before his eyes were even open. He opened them now, looking down at his boy, making sure he was real and that yesterday hadn’t been a dream.
Kai was very real. Nolan could tell by the lack of feeling in his right arm where Kai had slept on it all night. As far as problems went, he would take this one every damned day for the rest of his life. His smile expanded even as he winced, shifting positions ever so slightly to give his arm some relief and then freezing when Kai lifted his sleepy head, gazing up at him through bleary eyes. Then he crawled right on top of him to drop his head onto the other side of his chest. Nolan stayed absolutely still until Kai’s breathing evened out again before pulling the duvet back over him. How the hell had he gotten this lucky? He’d prayed for it every day since he’d lost Kai, but part of Nolan had lived in fear that he’d lost him for good.
Still, yesterday hadn’t been all sunshine. Kai’s confession would haunt him forever. Yes, he’d known that there was every likelihood that Kai had seen some shit, but hearing him say those words, knowing he’d experienced one of the worst things that could ever happen to a child, fucked with his head in ways he couldn’t imagine. He didn’t believe that he could ever forgive Liam for what he’d done, but now? Liam had a pass for life. He’d taken care of Kai when he was barely old enough to take care of himself, in unimaginable ways, and now, Liam was under Nolan’s protection forever.
Nolan wasn’t going to forget his promise to Kai either. In a few days, when things settled a bit more, they were going to talk about therapy, and he was going to make sure that Kai received the help he needed.
He was well and truly stuck under Kai now, and since he had no intention of moving, Nolan sighed, closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.
“I don’t knowwhat I should do?” Kai ’s tone was quizzical as he peered up at Nolan like he had all of the answers in the world.They’d finally gotten out of bed a while ago, showered and had breakfast. Kai was never out of arm’s reach, and Nolan fully expected his clinginess might last a bit longer than normal.
A half-built Lego phoenix was strewn across the coffee table, and Nolan didn’t mind in the slightest. He’d missed finding a trail of Lego wherever Kai wandered. He’d taken a break to perch on Nolan’s lap on the couch, where they had started talking about Kai’s house. Sure, there were still some legalities to take care of, but as far as Nolan was concerned, that house was Kai’s to do whatever the hell he wanted.
“Wait. That’s not true. I do know. I just don’t know how to do it,” Kai corrected.
“Tell me what you want, and we’ll get it done.”
“I think I want the guys to move there, but I want to get rid of everything that’s in there first. Like a clean slate, you know? I just… it kind of creeps me out thinking of my aunt and uncle being in there.”
“I think that’s fair. We can have someone go in and purge everything, or we can do it ourselves. Do you want to make sure there’s nothing of your grandmother’s that you want to keep?” Given that Kai still had that old cellphone his grandmother had given him upstairs in his backpack, Nolan was certain that there were other mementos Kai would want to hold on to.
“Yeah. No. I want to go through it. Just in case.” Kai fell silent, and then his brow creased with concern. “What about the twins though? I can’t leave them behind. And what about Liam?”
Nolan’s heart squeezed. “Have you talked to him lately?”
“No. Not since…” Kai trailed off, colour flooding his cheeks.
“He came here a couple of weeks ago.”
Kai’s gaze jolted to Nolan’s, surprised and alarmed. “What did he want?”
“He returned the money. Well. Most of it.” The corner ofNolan’s mouth quirked up in a smile at the confusion on Kai’s face. “He didn’t actually say he was sorry, but I think he was.”
Kai scoffed, but his incredulity morphed into alarm. “Shit. Maybe he’s dying or something.”
“Actually, he said he was jealous. He accused me of stealing his family.”
Kai’s shoulders sank and he shrank into himself. “It’s my fault. I fucked it all up. I was so scared he was going to ruin this for me and he’s so stubborn all the time. I handled it all wrong.”
Nolan pulled him down so that Kai could rest his head on Nolan’s shoulder. “You did the best you could. I think I understand him a little better now though. He’s loyal, and I think he cares about you a lot. He’s still a menace though.”
Kai huffed out a soft laugh.
“You don’t have to make any decisions right now. If you don’t want him there, that’s fine but if you do, that’s also fine.”
“I do want him there. I want him to be safe so he knows he doesn’t have to do fucked-up shit to get by anymore.”
“And what about you?”
“Me?” Kai asked.
“Yeah. Where will you be?” Nolan’s heart picked up its pace as Kai pulled away to look at him, confused. He wanted to demand that Kai move in with him, but the whole point of securing his grandmother’s house for him was to give him autonomy and a sense of security.
Still, there was a difference between demanding and making his wishes known. “For the record, I told you two nights ago that when I got you back here, I was never letting you go and I meant it. I want you here with me. For the rest of our lives.”
