Kai tried a smile, even though it felt tight on his face. “Yeah absolutely. I… I don’t have references or anything.”
Abigail leaned forward, producing a pen and a slightly squished paper from her back pocket, which she pushed his way.
“Oh, I am very good friends with Misty, and if you were good for her, that’s all the reference I need. When can you start?”
“Tomorrow, if you need me to.”
She glanced down at his shirt, hesitating for the first time.
“I’ll be ready,” he said in a rush, blushing again.
She smiled at him.
“Alright. Fill that out and,” she pushed the plate closer to him, “eat up.”
Kai spentthe rest of the day getting ready for his unexpected new job. The brief moment of euphoria he’d experienced had died an unpleasant death when he realized there was no one to share it with. It hurt too much thinking about Nolan, and the only other people who would care were probably Jason or Justin or Katie. He hadn’t reached out to the boys, but he’d have to soon. There was no way he could reach out to Katie, since he’d had her number saved on the phone he’d left at Nolan’s. He missed her more than he expected, but he knew there was no way Chris would let her stay friends with him now. Truthfully, he didn’t think he could stay friends with her and not be with Nolan. It just hurt too damned much.
He hit a nearby discount clothes store and bought himself a couple clean things, and the dollar store for a razor and laundry detergent. There was a laundromat a few blocks away, and Kai shamelessly stripped down to his boxers and threw everything, including his worn out sneakers, into the machine before turning it on.
That night, he caved and went to the shelter. He hated it there, partially because of his pride but also because he didn’t always feel safe, no matter how hard the staff tried. Still, he needed a shower and a bed. He hoped he’d be able to sleep, but when the lights went down, he was left alone with his thoughts, the ghost of Nolan’s arm around his waist and the scratch of his beard against his face. He could hear the rumbleof his voice while he read to him, feel the vibration of it under his hands. The hollow ache in his chest expanded painfully, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, but he didn’t bother to brush them away. Nolan’s presence was so visceral that it caused him physical pain when he reminded himself that it wasn’t real.
By four-thirty the next morning, Kai was sitting outside the cafe, as tired as he’d been the day before but at least looking somewhat like himself. Only the bruised skin under his eyes gave him away. The sun made slow progress over the horizon, dark turning to shades of blue touched with gold and orange. The city was just starting to wake up, people strolling past in various states of business casual with paper cups in hand or gym bags draped across their shoulders.
“You’re early,” Abigail said, clearly surprised to see him when she got there a few minutes later.
“Is that okay?”
“Of course! I’m going to let you know right now, I am not a morning person and I’m generally a savage before my second cup of coffee,” she told him as she unlocked the door and disarmed the security alarm.
“That’s okay.”
“Come on, I’ll show you around quickly and get the coffee started. Perks of the job: all employees get free coffee all day, every day. Also, something to eat on your break.”
She quickly toggled one of the coffee machines, showing Kai where the different coffees and supplies were before leading him into the kitchen. Metal counters and all new ovens and mixers gleamed at them as she turned on the lights. He spied the back door, which he’d been very familiar with. The shelf beside it was still there, and he could see several pink pastry boxes perched on top.
“My office is back here, but it kind of doubles as a staff roomin case you don’t want to people on your break. You can hang your backpack on the hooks in there.”
“You guys still do that?” Kai asked, pointing to the boxes, feeling oddly pleased.
“I’m sorry? Oh, yes. Those are for—” she broke off as she met his gaze and realized he already knew. “Misty told me about it when I was thinking about buying the store and I loved it. I couldn’t part with the tradition.”
Kai turned as the kitchen door opened again, and a willowy brown girl walked in, looking momentarily confused to see Kai there.
“Ah! Pri, come meet Kai. Kai, this is Priya. Priya is the one leaving us for Guelph at the end of summer. Also not a morning person.” Abigail squeezed her shoulders affectionately, while Priya rolled her eyes.
“I’m not a five a.m. morning person. I do totally fine at normal-people morning hours. Like nine or ten,” she said, shaking Kai’s hand.
“Well, let’s go get our coffees and get started.”
The cafe opened at seven, but most of their pastries were baked in-house. A lot of prep was done the night before, but there was still tons to do. Abigail assured him that he didn’t have to remember everything all at once, but Kai really wanted to make a good impression. He paid close attention, trying to absorb everything that he could.
At six-forty-five another girl walked in, her faded pink hair in a high ponytail. She wore an anime t-shirt and both arms were covered in a random array of tattoos. Her right brow was pierced, and she had spider bite piercings in her lower lip on the left side. She looked at Kai with interest as Priya introduced her as Felicity.
They were inundated by a constant stream of customers from the moment they opened. Kai was grateful. The constantdemand on his attention meant that he didn’t have time to think about anything until Abigail forced him to take a break at eight-thirty. He took his coffee to one of the tables and, five minutes later, Abigail came out to deposit a toasted bagel with egg and bacon and a chocolate chip muffin beside him. She didn’t wait to hear his thanks, just went back to the kitchen where she was still pulling trays out of the ovens.
Bryce, one of the afternoon guys that Kai had seen the day before, came in at eleven and Abigail cut Kai loose, praising him for a great first day. He’d been feeling pretty good about it until right that moment, but now the idea of filling the next sixteen hours until he could come back felt like a daunting task. He grabbed his backpack, and when he walked out the front door, all of the shitty feelings he’d kept at bay all morning bubbled right back up to keep his company.
29
