“Morning,” I croak, knowing it’s petulant not to add the “good” but still not doing it. It’s not a good morning. Last night, my parents essentially gave me an ultimatum—come home and leave this life behind, be the good girl they’ve always wanted, or never see my family again.
Arms shaking, I plant my hands on the mattress and find my phone charging on the nightstand. I pick it up and find I have two texts.
The first is from Mary.
Mary:Everything is okay, thanks for asking
Mary:Babies are fine, but I’ll have to go on bed rest until they come
And then, several hours later
Mary:I’m sorry, Luc
Mary:Are you really dating all three of them?
I stare at her texts. Mary is a lot more lax than our parents, but I wouldn’t put it past her to be weirded out by this. To pass some judgment, even if she wasn’t meaning to.
Rather than text her back right away, I thumb over to my other text.
Auntie: Tried to call, love
Auntie:You know I hate texting
Auntie:Mary told me something happened. Here if you need me xx
I decide not to text her back, either. I’ll have to talk to both of them, eventually, but right now I feel so numb.
I’m drawn out of my thoughts by the door opening, Dane slipping inside, followed closely by Nico.
All three of the guys are in their lounge wear. Cole wears a pair of soft, practically tattered sweats with a school logo faded down the side and a shirt from a video game. Dane is in formal pajamas, the kind that come in a matching set. It almost looks tailored for him. And Nico is practically naked, wearing nothing but a pair of checkered boxer shorts.
“Lucy,” Nico says, his voice soft as he crawls into bed, throwing an arm around me and tugging me into his chest. I appreciated Cole for being here when I woke up, but Nico is the best at this—it’s like he’s practiced at making everything feel okay. Comforting.
I think about his mother and wonder if it has anything to do with that.
“Hey, guys,” I rasp, tearing up more when Dane passes me my water bottle, the huge, clunky metal cup I’ve been lugging around with me since Mary got it for me more than a year ago, and a simple sage green glass that smells like iced coffee.
I take a sip, and it makes me feel a little more like a person.
“We understand if you want to call this off,” Dane says, and though both Nico and Cole stiffen on either side of me, they say nothing. I realize the three of them must have been having conversations about this while I was sleeping.
“Is that… would that be easier for you?” I sound like a little girl, but I don’t know how to change that. I don’t know how to keep my voice level and confident when it feels like my world is crumbling away around me.
Dane frowns, “No. It would not be easy. But that wasn’t ideal, at the hospital. I know how you feel about being there for your sister. And as much as we like you, and want you to stay, we aren’t going to ask you to stay. Won’t participate in that ultimatum.”
Like my parents did.
They saw something about my life that they didn’t understand, that they didn’t like, and they instantly tried to force me out of doing it. It’s been like that my entire life.
Them changing the mold, me flexing and morphing, doing everything in my power to fit within it. My parents only want me if I’m perfect. If I’m the daughter they’ve dreamed up in their heads.
But the guys, these three men I’ve only known a short while, they want me for who I am. They just want me to be happy. And they’re willing to step out of the way, willing to forget their own wants and needs, just to make that happen.
“No.” The word pops out of me, a little rough around the edges, and I take a few big gulps of water, then another sip of my coffee, before continuing. “I’m done bending to them. They…” I take a deep, shaking breath. Speaking ill of my parents still feels wrong, like a sin, despite the fact that I’m an adult, and my own father almost punched me in the face.
And he didn’t even apologize for it.
They expect perfect conduct from me. For me to adhere to their world view, to be the good, holy girl, and they weren’t even willing to admit what they did wrong. My own father didn’t apologize for hitting me, accident or not.
