“You wereamazing,” he says as soon as they’re outside of NACA. “Like, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like your voice. It was just…I had no idea you could sing like that.”
He keeps going on like this for quite a while.
“Thanks,” Mikey says at last. “Itwaspretty awesome.”
They make their way down to the banks of the Ohio River, the summer heat strong enough he’s glad he decided to wear shorts. He’s glad Luke did, too, especially since the ones he’s wearing show off his legs.
All the while Mikey thinks about how nice it is to have someone take him for him, someone who really understands him and doesn’t try to force him to be something he isn’t. He knows he puts on a brave front for the world, but the truth is there are many times, especially lately, where Mikey just wants to be accepted for who he is without a whole bunch of expectations.
He just wishes he had a better idea of what exactly they are to each other. Are they boyfriends? He’s afraid to ask. What if Luke tells him they’re nothing more than friends with benefits? Or what if trying to pin it down destroys what they have?
They come to the banks of the river, and neither of them says anything for a while. They just stand there, listening to the soft lap of the water against the shore, the faint roar of traffic in the distance, the shrill but melodic call of a red-winged blackbird in the distance.
“I wanna thank you,” Luke says quietly, staring out at the water instead of at Mikey.
“Oh yeah? For what?”
“For taking me as I am,” Luke says, and Mikey smiles a bit at the reference toRent.One of the biggest surprises Luke has delivered has been the fact he’s a fan of musicals.Rent, Wicked,Avenue Q, he’ll listen to the cast recordings of all of them.
“What?” he’d asked when Mikey had first told him how surprised he was to hear about this particular interest. “Can’t a country boy like musicals?”
Mikey had to concede he had a point.
His heart is filled to bursting and so, before he can second-guess himself, he reaches out and takes Luke’s hand in his own.
There’s a second where he’s certain Luke is going to pull it back, but then he tightens his own grip, and the warmth flowing between them is comforting. Mikey feels like he’s home.
“You’re welcome, by the way,” Mikey says at last, belatedly remembering he hadn’t responded to Luke’s comment a few minutes earlier. “For what it’s worth, I also think you’re great just the way you are.”
“I think other than Aunt Patty you’re the only one who does,” Luke says softly.
Mikey doesn’t say anything. He knows Luke’ll tell him what he wants him to know.
“It’s tough, sometimes, being the man my parents and my brothers want me to be,” Luke says quietly into the heavy dusk. “I try. I really do. But they all want me to sing about trucks and beer and startin’ shit, and while I like those kinds of songs, sometimes, I want to do other stuff, too. Like I told you, I wanna sing about my aunt and the other women who make this Valley special. I wanna sing about things to make people proud. I wanna sing about why I love being a West Virginia boy.
“My dad asked me if I was a fag, because I wanted to spend so much of my time talkin’ about that shit. And he threw out my cast recording CDs. Made sure my brothers stomped on them first, though.”
Anger boils up in Mikey at this. His parents might not always be the most accepting of people–he’s heard them say some homophobic stuff–but he can’t imagine them using a slur around him.
But maybe they would if they knew the truth about you.
Still, the thought of anyone, particularly Luke’s family, being cruel to him makes him want to drive right up to the ridge and give the Carters a piece of his mind.
Luke doesn’t need him spouting off his mouth, though, and so Mikey pushes away his anger and offers sympathy, instead.
“I’m sorry,” he says simply. “That really sucks.”
“Yeah,” Luke says, “it does.”
And that’s that.
After spending a little more time at the riverbank they get into Mikey’s car and go to one of the more isolated ridges. This is their little ritual, their little oasis. They never do much more than kiss, but it’s enough to get Mikey’s blood pumping.
They first came here right after their encounter in the gazebo. Mikey had asked Luke if he knew of anywhere more private the two of them could go, somewhere where they weren’t likely to be interrupted by folks from NACA and Luke had ended up bringing him to the back end of nowhere.
Mikey takes them to their usual spot, and it’s not long before they’re going at it hot and heavy. Luke is even more intense than usual, and Mikey starts to wonder if they might actually go all the way this time. Their hands are all over each other, and their shirts are off, and they’re both starting to sweat. Just when it seems like they’re going to take it to the next level, however, Luke pulls back.
Mikey tries not to act too disappointed; the last thing he wants to do is make Luke feel pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to.
