“It’s now or never,” Kaelen says. “Soli. Listen to me. No matter what, you can’t fight me. I know it will be instinct, especially if we get caught in any tight spots. But I’ll be towing you and Bern both, and—”
“I know. I’ll try,” I whisper. I don’t know what else to say, because I don’t want to lie to him, even unintentionally. I’ll do my best not to struggle, even if the river pushes us into a space so small we get jammed together, water over our heads and in our noses and mouths and lungs and … “Maybe you could leave us here. Go swim on your own, find a way out, and come back for us.” I look up again. “You could even come back through the cavern and use a rope?”
He captures my chin in his hand. “We can’t do that. You know we can’t. First, if—whenI make it through, I don’t know how far I’ll be from here. Or if there will be an entrance from there back into the tunnel system to the cavern. Or if the draugrs—”
“Yes.I know! I was just … testing you.”
Astonishingly, despite everything, he grins at me. And then he kisses me and drops into the water. He holds a hand up for Bern, who doesn’t seem to know what’s happening anymore. I gently nudge the wounded soldier off the ledge and into the water, and Kaelen catches him. Then he nods at me.
I can’t do it.
I try to force myself off the ledge, but I can’t.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but everything I’ve had to face since the king’s guards first took me from the library has used up all the bravery I had.” I raise my chin. “I’ll just stay here. You and Bern go, find a way, and I’ll wait here. I’m perfectly fine on this ledge. I’ll just think warm thoughts and—”
Kaelen reaches up and yanks me down into the water.
Themental condition known as Gray Mind is often scoffed at by serious scholars, due to its inconsistency. For example: During times of great crisis, no matter how difficult, even the most profound sufferer can sometimes find a way to overcome this mental disorder for long enough to help others. Other scholars, however, suggest this ability is simply akin to a mother demonstrating superhuman strength when her child is in danger.
Further study is advised.
—Disorders of the Mind and Humours, Volume III, edited by High Inquisitor Stangbolt
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Isplutter and give him my darkest glare. “Not fair.”
“You can punish me later. For now, help me keep Bern’s head out of the water. He’s beyond helping himself.” Kaelen pulls the soldier closer to me, and I wrap one arm around Kaelen’s waist and the other around Bern’s shoulders, keeping his face out of the icy river. When we move, I realize the prince was treading water to fight against the current, which now sweeps us up and carries us along with it toward the jagged opening in the rock.
The rock that we’re about to smash into.
“Are we going to fit?” I fight my instinct to try to get away, get back to the ledge, because that opening is too small for all three of us to fit into, and will there even be any air to breathe, and why,whydid Artemisen have to decide that a nobody could touch the amulet, which is still glowing, at least, and then I shriek and swallow more water than I wanted to and the river carries us along, faster and faster, straight toward the rock wall, and we’re going to die horribly—
We fit.
Somehow, some way, we fit. Even better, the tunnel widens out past the pit, and there’s plenty of air to breathe above us. Even a shore of a kind, along one side of the river, but when I nod at it, Kaelen shakes his head.
“Have to get out of here,” he shouts, so I can hear him over the roar of water echoing off the walls and ceiling of the cavern. “Too cold to last much longer.”
He’sright, I know he’s right, but icy numbness is climbing up my body from my feet to my legs, now to my chest and shoulders. Even my arms, tight around Bern and Kaelen, are losing feeling. My head aches so much, and I can feel blood pulsing from a wound I’m glad I can’t see. Will I be able to hang on? If I can’t, Bern will die, because he’s now completely unconscious.
The termdead weighttakes on an immediate and horrible meaning, but I can feel his breath against my cheek. He’s still alive.
For now.
I just need to be strong enough to help keep him that way. I chant, my teeth chattering around the words.
“Storms pass.
“Pain ends.
“I will never quit.
“Storms pass.
“Pain ends.
“I will never quit.
