“All the things you left at my apartment.”
“I don’t want them back,” Brooke says, scooting backward in her chair like she can’t stand the idea of being near them.
“Well, I’m not keeping them, so toss them or don’t. They’re your things.”
“No, I mean I don’t want them with me; I want these things with you until we figure out what to do about us.”
Valeria sighs. She knew this would come up, prepared herself for it, but she still has a hard time responding.
“Baby,” Brooke says gently, her hand reaching for Valeria’s cheek.
“There is nous, Brooke. There hasn’t been for months, maybe years,” Valeria says, her voice scratchy. Brooke’s hand stalls mid-air, before she places it back over her own lap.
“What are you talking about?” Brooke asks, her shoulders dropping and her body curving in slightly.
“I was in that relationship alone most of the time,watching you go back and forth without a single thought for what that did to me.”
“I know,” Brooke says, her voice softening. “I know I messed up so much, but I’m willing to listen. To fix things. I’ll do whatever I have to ... tell me how to prove I’m getting better.”
“I hope you are, Brooke,” Valeria says sincerely. She wants a happy ending for Brooke—one similar to her own with Camila—a healthy love. “I know there’s so much good about you, and you love hard, but I’m not waiting for the new-and-improved version of you anymore. I don’t want that. I don’t want this.” Valeria points between them.
“It wouldn’t be like before. I’ve been getting help. I’m managing my stress and anger better. I’m talking through what happened with my ex; it wouldn’t be the same. I promise.”
Valeria’s stomach hardens, and her throat tightens painfully.
For years, she asked Brooke for this. Wanted Brooke to talk to someone, to control her anger so they could be together and continue the plans for their life, but now ... “It’s too late, Brooke,” Valeria whispers. “I don’t want a life with you anymore. You destroyed the last bit of my love for you, and there’s nothing left.”
The words sound rough even to her. She can’t imagine how they must land on Brooke. Still, they’re Valeria’s truth, and she refuses to apologize for them.
Brooke shakes her head slowly, as if none of what Valeria is saying makes sense. Valeria understands completely—she knows how jarring this must be for Brooke. Valeria has always welcomed her back with open arms, but this time she isn’t ... and she never will again.
Brooke’s gaze finally lifts, meeting Valeria’s. It’s a look of rawhurt at the definitive barrier that Valeria has erected between them.
“I don’t understand. I love you.”
“I loved you, Brooke, so much I let you tear me apart just to be with you.”
“How? How have you fallen out of love with me? We were together forsix years.” A gentle sob breaks from Brooke’s lips, and her hand flies to her throat, holding tightly, as if she’s physically keeping more from making their way out.
“It’s been over a year since we broke up,” Valeria says, slightly offended. Like she’s done something wrong for moving on. As if the hurt Brooke caused isn’t valid, “I fell out of love little by little, through years of you mistreating me and hurting me. This didn’t happen out of the blue; it was constant and imperceptible, even to me, until it wasn’t.”
The weight of the words, the slow erosion of feeling, settles in Valeria’s chest like a stone as she remembers each harsh word, each rejection, that had chipped away at the foundation of her love, until there was nothing left.
Brooke struggles for breath before saying, “I don’t believe that. It has to be something else.”
Valeria shakes her head. “It isn’t, Brooke,” she says, as she hops off the stool just as the bartender drops off their drinks. “I should go, but I wish you so much good, B.”
Valeria turns then, ready to leave this all behind, but Brooke catches her hand.
“Please don’t walk away,” Brooke pleads, voice soft, and something in Valeria cracks. She may not be in love with Brooke anymore, but she did love her deeply once, and the sound of her in pain still makes Valeria ache.
“I’m sorry, Brooke,” she says, not turning to face her. She doesn’t trust guilt not to takeover the second her eyes land on Brooke. She knows there’s a strong chance that the second she does, she’ll wrap her arms around Brooke, trying to soothe her pain despite desperately needing space.
A tear slides down Valeria’s cheek as Brooke gently releases her hand, and even through the sadness of the moment, she feels relief. She takes a shaky breath, the air filling her lungs in a way it hasn’t in months, as she walks out the door.
Valeria immediately calls Camila, who responds before the first ring.
“Hey, baby,” she answers, and her voice immediately calms Valeria. She’ll never get tired of that. Of how just the thought of her, or her voice, makes everything better.
