“Do it here,” I pleaded. “I like you here, Henry. I…” I felt my face twitch, and knew he could see my discomfort as his fingers traced the movement. “Your sister is uncomfortable around me. I cannot come see you when I wish if you are in your tent. And she fears Ekkar. It is better if you are here.”
Huffing a laugh, he shook his head. “She won’t get used to you if you avoid her, you know.”
I didn’t care about that. I only cared about Henry. I worried after Ghil spoke so casually about me that Henry would see the distance I felt with my clan as a reason to step away. That mylack of joy would drive him away. Why else would he wish to separate so soon after the conversation?
His lips turned down a little, making my chest ache as he traced the furrow of my brow. Things had been perfect the last few days. Henry was always smiling. While playing his music, teasing me for snoring, or just listening to the conversations my brothers shared around us. Even when we kissed, his lips curved into a smile as they pressed against mine. Seeing him frown made my insides feel like they were shredding similar to the gronnok attack. I never wished to be the reason he frowned.
Letting out a breath, he agreed with a small nod. “Okay. I’ll stay here for now. I’ll need to speak with Alice eventually, but I can tell you’re upset, and I don’t want to make it worse. What do you want to do until you have to return to your duties?”
Claim him. I didn’t say that out loud. But I felt it in my soul. Whatever I needed to do to convince him to stay, I would try my best to do so. He made me feel things I never thought I’d get to experience since the gronnok attack. I didn’t wish to lose what we’d found together.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HENRY
Garrun was hovering. Even after he returned us to the fire and our abandoned meal, he seemed unhappy. He remained pressed against my side, one hand tight on my knee like he was afraid if he let go, I’d jump up and run away from him.
I felt his hesitation when he was called to do his duty for the clan. I patted his hand lightly, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be alright. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“You will stay in my tent tonight, yes? It will make me feel better knowing I can check on you.”
I hadn’t ever done that before, I always returned to the tent I shared with Alice, but something was bothering Garrun, and it obviously meant a lot to him for me to stick close. I figured as long as I told her where I was, she wouldn’t be bothered. If I managed to find a moment to speak with her, that is. I still didn’t know where she was, and with Garrun hovering like he was, it wasn’t like I could go seek her out.
“Um… Sure, I can do that, as long as someone helps me find it.”
“I will bring you there now,” he insisted. My mouth fell open. He didn’t normally rush me when his duties began. He didn’t want me to be forced to stay in the tent by myself for hours before bed just because of my condition. I spent a lot of my time sitting around the fire, listening to people talk and just enjoying the company before he came by during his break to lead me to the tent Alice and I shared.
“He doesn’t have to go,” the familiar voice of the barbarian who’d sat next to me earlier spoke. “He can stay here with us if he prefers it.”
The way he said it, not like I was a burden, but like it was normal for me to be there and even preferred, eased a little of the tightness in my chest. I hadn’t figured everything out, but there were a few barbarians around that didn’t mind me. That had to be a good sign, right?
“No,” Garrun replied quickly. “He said he needs rest. He will do it in my tent.”
“Is that what he wants?” another voice asked, this one in the common tongue and smoother than the other attempts at speaking my language. Whoever it was, they were comfortable with my language.
“He said he needs rest–” Garrun began again, but I stopped him before he could finish his sentence and rush me away.
“I’m fine here for now. I’ll go back to your tent when I get tired, if that’s alright?” I said it to Garrun, turning toward where he was still pressed against my side. The tension that seemed to radiate off him didn’t settle even a little, and I was worried he’d be too upset to allow me to stay. Did he think I couldn’t function on my own without him? Had I given him the impression that I was incapable by asking him to spend time with me?
The thought made the ache in my chest come back with a vengeance, and I fought to keep my expression neutral for Garrun’s sake. If that were truly the case, then our connectionwasn’t what I’d hoped for. I got the feeling if I said something about that, though, he’d get more upset than he already was.
“He will be safe with us,” the second voice said steadily. “When he is ready to turn in, I will bring him to your tent myself. Be at ease, my brother. Your veyrak is safe.”
My brows furrowed at the unfamiliar word, but whatever it meant, it seemed to settle Garrun at least enough for him to go do his job for the clan. He grunted in agreement, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it before pushing to his feet and walking away. If I could’ve, I would have watched him go, maybe gotten a better idea of what was going on with him. He was acting strange.
With a heavy sigh, I leaned forward, letting my elbows rest on my knees, and buried my face in my hands. So much was happening right now that I needed to figure out. I’d never been in this position before. I went where my family asked me to go and wasn’t expected to make decisions myself. At most, I would be included in the decision on what to make for supper, but that was as far as my input was needed. Now, it felt like I was shoved into deep water and expected to swim when I had no idea which direction to go. Where did I even start in unraveling all the turmoil in my head?
“He doesn’t mean to upset you,” the voice from before commented, still in my language. When I dropped my hands to face him, he spoke again. “Garrun has always been intense with his affections. He covered an ulvor pup from a gronnok attack with his own body because he loved the pup with his whole heart. You, who treat him with such kindness and understanding, have ensnared his heart. He would protect you just as fiercely. He doesn’t mean to come off as overbearing.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I hadn’t purposely done anything special. I treated him with kindness because that was how he treated me. He didn’t make me feel like a burden or actawkwardly around me because of my limitations. He treated me like I was anyone else. I valued that.
“You seem to know him well,” I finally said, still unsure how to handle the intense emotions the barbarian’s words brought to the fore. Those emotions were tangled up with everything else, and I couldn’t think straight because of it.
I heard movement as he came closer, sitting beside me, his voice close enough to speak privately without encroaching on my space. “Garrun and I were raised together in the same clan. My clan brothers are as close to me as my blood brother is. I’d hoped one day he would find happiness. That he found it in you is a blessing in my eyes.”
My expression crumpled, and I buried my face in my hands again, letting out a small groan. The barbarian seemed startled by my response, his voice turning alarmed.
“This was not said to upset you. I thought you felt the same–”
