My body betrays me as my dick is over here going, “Nothing could sound better,” but the real question is why is my brain joining my dick? I push him away and sit properly in my seat, deciding that silence is what I’m going for.
“Glad we got that all settled so I don’t have to feel guilty any longer,” Mickey says. “Riley went on a vacation where he finally got laid and then came back looking refreshed and hopefully acting less ‘Riley.’ I need a vacation.”
“You don’tdoanything,” Imani informs him.
Mickey gasps, but no one in the vehicle really comes to his defense. Vinny is ridiculously sweet, though, so he turns in his seat and smiles at Mickey. “You need to go to one of those all-inclusive resorts. I think you’d flourish there.”
“I think I would. Who would like to take me?” he asks, as though one of us is just going to volunteer to pay his way. “Being poor sucks.”
“How can you possibly be poor?” I ask. “You get paid well.”
“Well, Joy needs her book ‘fix’ and it’s not just one book, it’s like a tower of books, and Tommy will only do my work if I get him the best computer. And Scott will only fix me three meals a day if I buy him a PS5, and Paisley will only clean my house if Iget her a gaming PC because she can’t play the PS5 since she’s a PC person.” He sighs like he hasn’t created this issue.
“Sir, I figured out who killed the Jane Doe,” a male voice says from the trunk. It really sounds like Tommy, but it’s a bit muffled.
“Excellent work, Tommy!” Mickey responds.
“Does… does he actually do any work?” Torin asks in Shaarunen.
“He might seem like he doesn’t, but he’s actually really smart. He’s invaluable when you can get him to work,” I say, also in Shaarunen.
“I see. I would have just tortured him into working properly if it was me.”
“We generally don’t torture people here. It’s frowned upon.”
“You tortured me last night when you wouldn’t let me enjoy you.”
“I weirdly feel like they’re talking about me from the way they’re looking at me,” Mickey says. “But I don’t have the energy to care.”
“We were talking about you,” I confirm as Torin starts pressing every button in the car.
“How many testicles did you sacrifice to run this thing?” Torin asks.
“T-Testicles?” Imani asks. “Riley, what the hell are you telling him?”
“The hidden truths of our world,” I say as Vinny pulls off to the side of the road. “Torin, did you check to make sure your testes were still in their sac?”
“I’d prefer if you checked,” he replies in Shaarunen.
I glare at him and push him out of the car. It doesn’t take much pushing before he scrambles out, pleased to get out of the vehicle. Once outside, I see a druid who I’ve had the dubious pleasure of working with before. I bent one weed under herwatch and ever since, she’s decided that misfortune should rain down upon me. Her scowl is already fixed on me as I settle Kit on my shoulder.
“I seeheis back,” Madelyn says. She’s around two hundred years old, but looks like she’s in her late thirties, while having the attitude of a person who is so ancient they hate everything in life—or just me. I’ve never asked how or why she looks so young at her age, assuming that if I do, she will look into ways to bury me beneath the dirt she loves so much.
“Riley is always very helpful,” Imani says, well aware Madelyn hates me.
“Right this way,” Madelyn barks as she hurries off at a fast clip. “Do not step on any of my children.”
“Why the hell would she just leave her children lying around out here for us to step on?” Torin asks, sounding confused.
“She’s talking about her plants,” I explain.
Torin lifts his foot and looks down at the crushed plant. To me it looks like a weed, but not to Madelyn.
Torin’s eyes flicker over to me, and I grimace before sidling away from him like I don’t know him.
Madelyn abruptly stops and turns around. “Who theFUCKjust stepped on one of my babies?”
Her head whips around as Torin stands there looking every bit like a god of war. He exudes a power that makes everyone—but me—step away from him. It just makes me horny… and then slightly ashamed… and maybe a tinge of embarrassment?
