“The water is cold,” Torin whines.
I grab a handful of his hair and force him to stay still. “Don’t be a child.”
“You’re getting your gloves wet. Why do you wear them all the time?”
“So people think I look weird and don’t engage with me.”
“It kind of just makes me want to take them off and not stop there.”
For that, I smack the paper towel in his hand and leave him to clean himself up while I glower at him.
“I am a god of love, baby. You can’t stop this ecstasy…well, the look on your face can,” he says as he tosses the paper towel like he deems it good enough and waves me to the door.
I head through it while Kit tries to reassure me that everything is fine by rubbing her face against me. “Let us go, Torin, God of Bullshit and Nonsense.”
“I feel like you want me and… what the fuck is this?” he asks.
“It’s called an escalator.”
“Magic that moves stairs… how fascinating.”
“It’s electricity, not magic.”
“I’ve never witnessed this electric magic.”
“Just electricity. No magic.”
“What keeps it from eating people?”
“We feed one virgin to it a month, which satisfies its bloodlust.”
“I’m definitely not a virgin, so I should be safe. You, on the other hand… have you managed to bed anyone with that attitude?”
“I just wear a gag and spread my legs; it’s the only way I can get laid.”
“Understandable.”
I get on the escalator heading downward and watch him set one foot on the moving step but not the other. The escalator is whisking his right foot away while his left firmly stays on solid ground, making him do the splits.
“You’re doing good. When you feel your ball sac separate, you know you’ve conquered the escalator,” I call as he starts doing some bizarre hop thing with his right foot to try to get it back up with the left foot.
“Stop this cursed thing!” he growls.
“I can’t. It’s unstoppable,” I say, walking up the steps of the escalator just so I can continue to witness this masterpiece. It’s the little joys in life.
“I’m going to destroy this fucking thing.”
There’s a line of very confused people behind him wanting to get on with their day while the god of war and love starts a battle with the escalator.
“Just add your other foot,” I instruct as he keeps hopping and doing the splits with flair. I make sure to pull out my phone and record a little to send to Imani with an “In what shape do I need to return this god?”
Once I feel bad for the other people who just want to get on the subway, I hurry up the escalator and grab his arm, tugging him back down after me.
Torin wobbles and clutches at me while I grin at him.
“What was that?” I ask.
He doesn’t even look a tad bit embarrassed… it’s rather impressive. “It is not my fault everything in this world is so irritating.”
