“Nope.”
I head over to the bike rack and free my bike before walking it half a block down to rent another bike.
“So you just mount up this bad boy and pedal. See that woman there?” I ask as I point to a woman riding by.
He watches before giving me a determined look. “There is nothing I can’t do.”
“Watch out for the cars, alright? Let’s stay on the sidewalk. The sidewalk is the little path here. Not the road, got it?”
Torin struggles a bit to get his leg over, probably because of how tight his clothes are and how long his legs are. And without waiting for me to help or guide him or give him advice, he takes off pedaling.
Honestly… I’m impressed.
Kit is too; she can’t stop watching him while he rushes forward with not a care in the world for anyone else.
“Why are they not getting out of my way? Shoo! Fuck off!” he barks when he nearly runs a lady over. She staggers but her friend catches her, and the god continues to believe that he’s the only thing that matters as he shouts at people in a language they can’t understand. That is, until he comes across a broad man who isn’t planning on moving. Torin jerks the handlebars and the bike begins to wobble. Instead of taking his feet off the pedals, he continues to pump his legs as hard as he can while the wobble escalates and the front tire dips off the sidewalk and into the road.
“Kit… I think I forgot to tell him how to use the brakes,” I realize. “Pull the lever on the handlebars! And stop pedaling!” I shout, but he’s too far from me to hear as he veers right into traffic and slams into the front of a car. I grimace a bit while I watch the god flip onto the hood and skid across where he disappears from sight.
“What do you think the repercussions are for killing a god?” I ask Kit.
She chirps.
“Yeah… kind of thinking the same thing,” I say, running out into the street as Torin stands up, picks up the bike, and proceeds to throw it so hard and far that it lands on the roof of a nearby butcher shop. “You’re alive! Yay… I wanted to make sure you’d still be around to cover the cost of that bike.”
“Why do all of your mounts want to kill me?” he snarls.
“That’s a really good question. We should try skateboarding next.Oh, what are your thoughts on rollerblades?”
The woman whose car he hit looks uncertain what to do, so I pull out my wallet and find an old business card from when I worked for the Magical Interference Unit and pass it to her. “They will take care of any damages,” I assure her.
She looks surprised but after one look at the god, she nods in understanding.
Turning to Torin, I tell him, “I’m going to go put my bike back and we’re going to call someone from the Magical Interference Unit to pick us up.” That is, unless someone lets me borrow their skateboard because my entertainment quota for this morning still hasn’t been filled up. After all, no one told me to keep the godsafe.
I swing my leg over my bike, but before I can pedal, he grabs my arm.
“I will ride with you,”he says as he eyes my bike and then tries to cram himself on it with me.
“This is the most intimate thing I’ve ever done out in public,” I comment, trying not to sit on the man while I struggle to pedal. I have to stand to pedal, and he’s just back there ready for me to chariot his ass across town.
“You are quite slow; we could walk faster than this.”
“Which part of this looks easy?” I ask.
“This is why you should just have a horse. Are you too poor for a horse? Let’s find you one.”
I ignore him and do my best to pedal while trying to keep my ass from grinding up in his space.
“I find it oddly sexy how you have beaten this beast into submission,” Torin declares.
“Thank you. I spank him every Thursday.”
“You are the most sarcastic peasant I’ve ever met in my life.”
“It’s a curse I must bear.”
“Turn here.”
