"Hello Ma," my mother says with affection. "Where did you park?"
"Just through here." She says and we follow her out to the lot where her two-door Volkswagen Golf sits waiting.
"Granny, how are you going to fit five people and four suitcases in there?" Delilah asks the question we’re all thinking.
"Oh, aye. Well," Granny rocks back and forth from her heels to her toes. "I figured Duncaroo would drive The Golf Cart with the luggage, and see to the clicking sound it's making when I turn right, while the rest of us hopped the bus."
"Why me and not Dad?" I complain.
"You know I'm all knuckles when it comes to mechanics." My dad says with a chuckle. "Remember the DVD player fiasco of '09?"
"How could I forget?" My sister’s lingering pain is thick in her voice. "10 Things I Hate About Youskipped right before the final kiss forever."
"Until you made Dad buy you a replacement copy." I remind her in that little brotherly way.
"And then buy a digital version a few years after that." My mom adds on and Del lifts her chin trying to save face.
"Yeah, well, those first few rewatches with the skip were rough."
"Sure, sure doll." Granny says with a pat on Delilah’s hand. "Alright then, load up. Duncaroo the map's on the passenger seat."
I shake my head but can't even pretend to be surprised by this being my grandmother's solution to getting five people from Inverness up to Marreldir. One year she convinced two of her friends to carpool with her. Other years we've all taken the bus.
I have offered to rent cars, or charter a van for us but she refuses. She's a fan of my hockey game, she watches our team when she can, but she insists the money I'm making is for me and my future, not her.
"Fair winds my boy!" Granny claps my shoulders. "See you ashore."
"Bye Granny." I say as I unlock the car and slide in.
My knees bump up against the wheel. My shoulder presses into the window as I reach for the power seat switch. Slowly it starts to glide back. Technically it still works but the seat jumps a few times like the pumps are considering giving out.
"C’mon you ancient canoe, don’t quit on me now."
Two more heart stopping jerks of the seat and my legs are down in the well. Her engine turns over easily enough but half a beat after the engine rattles to life, I am blasted by the sound of men singing sea shanties.
"I guess someone taught Granny how to use the aux cord." I mumble as I turn down the volume and fish out a little square MP3 player by the cable. I skip ahead until the robot lady announcing tracks says the name Rhys Reid.
Delilah had a gossip magazine in her bag and the minute she fell asleep I swiped it. The cover had a blurry photo of the actor, Mike Kerr, pressing a woman up against a wall, his hand just a half inch below her tit. The two were sucking face. Then in a little circle graphic below it was a picture of Rhys looking sad while sitting alone at a coffee shop.
Poor bastard.
The article inside was a six page spread detailing how long Rhys and Mike had been together and how their relationship was groundbreaking in its openness.
Blah, blah, blah.
I just kept getting confused reading M-I-K-E K-E-R-R but having to pronounce it "Meek Car". What a turd.
I got behind Aiden’s romantic pursuits when he joined the team knowing if he settled down he’d open up to his teammates more too. I helped Bryson only because I thought he was trying to repel Jo but it backfired and now the goofball is obsessed with her. Crosby has leaned into the role of dog dad with abandon but he’s spent even less time going out so getting a girlfriend requires going out and meeting girls so he’s safe from being off the market. Relationships are fine, for others, but they are also traps for complicated feelings.
Why bother?
It boils down to this. Rhys is hot. Douchey name or not, I have to admit Mike Kerr is hot. And two hot people got together.
When I'm looking for someone to spend the night with, that's my standard. Hot and electric. Hot like an open flame. Hot like a wildfire where you have no control and just have to give in to its power.
The car putters out onto the road and I chuckle because nothing about this rounded, blue-grey vehicle is hot.
If anything it's a sex repellant.
