"But you're not Canadian." Emmett points out.
"Yeah but they had the other worldly team members on their side, and I'm practically Scottish."
"You are Scottish but you grew up outside of Boston."
"Which is basically in Canada."
"Hardly." Emmett doesn't let me have this one.
Which, fair. Annoying, but fair.
"So, which boxers won?"
"I'm still waiting for the dry time results."
"But which one made limp dicks look bigger?"
"The Pouch Pair."
"Heck yes, okay then I'll order a few packs now."
I pull out my phone to place the order but I have a text from Remember, You Started This.
I chuckle and kill my phone screen so Emmett doesn't start asking questions.
"I'm gonna run to the bathroom."
"Use the upstairs one." Emmett says.
"Of course, like I could forget."
E.T. shudders but goes back to logging data for the experiment.
Once inside I head upstairs and lock the bathroom door behind me.
I should be embarrassed by the smile on my face but I can’t help it. I’m at a backyard party with my best friends, and my fuck-buddy texted me.
Life is good.
You Know You Want It
Happy Fourth of July
You’re Scottish, can you even say that?
It's polite.
I don’t care much for being polite.
Really? I was thinking you’d like honorifics.
Huh?
Mr.
Sir.
Oh, fuck yes. I love those!
