I reach for my guitar. My fingers naturally find the chords I riffed earlier. Words start to form behind my closed eyes.
I quickly start a voice memo, knowing it’s best to record the early stuff to pull from later.
Settling back, I strum, hum, and exhale to let the words find their way out.
"I knew before you did,
How badly you wanted more.
I knew how good it would feel,
To kneel at your feet on the floor.
Fuck."
My eyes fly open and I shake my head.
I can’t write something so explicit.
And furthermore, Duncan cannot be the subject of my song.
I exhale and regroup.
With a crick of my neck I start to strum again. Forcing myself to remember how terrible it felt the moment I first saw the pictures. A heat fills my belly and I channel the fire into lyrics. Sing it first, revise it later.
"When this all began,
It was tough to say who started it.
But by the end,
Clearly you’re the one who ended it.
Everything I thought we built.
Everything I thought we had.
Gone between a blink and a kiss,
A flash. A crash. Then dread.
Best you’ve ever? But you walked away.
Do you regret it?
Do you want to come back?
Admit to me you wanted it?
What would you do now?
Wisdom of hindsight on your side?
Would everything be different?
If you saw yourself through my eyes?
Moving through this day without you,
