But I don’t know how to undo it.
MATEO
I text her Tuesday morning.
I keep it simple.Hey. You okay?
I watch it sit there on delivered for four hours before I put my phone face down and go to practice.
Wednesday I try again.Can we talk?
Delivered. Read, eventually - I see the two ticks turn blue late that evening which means she’s seen it - she’s made a choice not to respond, which is its own kind of answer.
Thursday I don’t text at all.
I show up to the session.
She arrives and sets up at the blue line and doesn’t look at me, which I feel immediately and say nothing about. The session starts and I run the drills.
Then she comes around to me and gives me an individual correction in that brisk voice -weight forward, outside edge,you’re dropping it again- and moves on before I’ve finished processing it, and something about the efficiency of it, the way she steps back so quickly, like proximity is a thing to be managed-
I dig into the next rep harder than I need to.
Chen, skating past, gives me a look.
I ignore it.
We move into transition work and Calloway takes the lead while she steps back to the boards with her notebook.
I pull up at the boards for water.
She’s ten feet away with her notebook, writing.
“Russo.” Calloway’s voice. “You’re up.”
I push off.
I run the drill. I run it again. And again.
I’m midway through the transition drill when I notice she’s gone.
There was no announcement or goodbye. She was there and then not there, like she timed her exit for exactly the moment Calloway had everyone’s attention on the drill.
I find her in the corridor after.
Not planned - I’ve been telling myself all session to leave it, to give her space, to be the mature version of myself that the situation requires. And then I turn the corner and she’s there and the mature version of myself apparently takes the day off.
“Can we talk?”
“Fine. Quickly.”
We find the small meeting room off the main corridor empty. It’s functional and neutral. She stands with her arms folded and her notebook against her chest and waits.
“The session was weird today. The guys are noticing.”
“What exactly are they noticing, Russo?”
“Just-” I stop. “Things are off. Between us. Anyone paying attention can feel it.”
