Ryder blows out a breath, her gaze dropping to the floor. “No probably about it.”
My stomach churns as I listen to them talk about what she just went through to. . .save someone. I don’t understandanything about Ryder and what she really does. I feel like an idiot.
“I’ll call you in the morning,” TJ says as he pulls open the door, but his eyes lock on mine, issuing one final warning.
I turn my attention to Ryder, not giving him the satisfaction. He can take his overprotectiveness, his ego, or whatever it is, and fuck off. Nothing will happen to Ryder that he needs to be concerned about.
As the door clicks shut, her eyes remain glued to the floor. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Ryder.”
Her chin remains tucked to her chest.
“Seriously, what happened?”
Her gaze drifts up to mine. “Cole.” It comes out so gently. “I know you’re curious and. . .worried, but this is part of my life. This is what I do.”
My simmering frustration begins to boil. “What does that mean?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to tell you.”
I see the earnestness in her eyes but also. . .pain. So much anguish.
I keep my voice soft, even though I feel nothing like it. “You walked out the door and then two hours later strolled back in with blood painted across your chest. I’m just supposed to pretend like nothing happened.” I stare at her. “This is . . . ” I search for the words. “This is crazy.”
Her weight shifts from one foot to the other, and she wraps her arms around herself but not in defense. It’s as if she’s trying to cover herself to prevent me from seeing what I’m discovering is her reality.
Her deep turquoise eyes move over my face, and it’s the first time I find tenderness there. “You can’t unsee the things I’ve seen. The places I’ve been.”
I want to know exactly what that means, but apparently I’m not brave enough to ask.
“It’s just. . . It’s better if you never have to.”
Her words are as gentle as a whisper. Protection. That’s what she’s doing. She’s guarding me, but is it for me or herself, I wonder. Maybe it’s both.
The rawness of her words burns through me. They come from wounds that run deep. Deeper than I’m supposed to be allowed to see. My stomach squeezes tight, wanting to see everything but also fearful of being unable to handle whatever it is.
I nod, letting it go, not making her face another battle tonight.
Without another word, she heads to her room.
I stand lost. I don’t know what happened or what to make of her words. It’s irritating as hell, and even though she might want to protect me, I want a chance to understand.
I run a hand over my face, moving back to the couch and the game.
I’m restless and agitated, and I don’t like it. I don’t know much, but I’m pretty sure the woman in the other room fights a world I’ve been blind to.
She told me this is her job. Whatever that really means. I want to know Ryder, but that wasn’t part of the deal. She’s my protection agent. I’m just another job to her. Someone she needs to keep safe, and that’s what she’s doing.
I rest my head on the back of the couch, hitting the rewind button to watch the play again. I guess it’s time I get back to doing mine.
______
I roll over in the dark, lying completely still. I hear it again. I rub my eyes and sit up, listening.
It’s a moan that turns into a whimper. I slide out of bed, my feet hitting the cold tile, shocking my system awake.
I hear it again, louder this time.
