He lets that hang there as the silence eats at both of us.
He crosses his arms again. “Maybe it’s time you think about Rodrigez’s offer.”
My eyes hit his.Is he serious?!
He shrugs. “Or there’s a dozen other standing open offers for you to consider. At some point, you’ll have to let someone else do the fighting. Your body and mind can only take so much. You can still do what no one else can, but maybe it’s time to do it from the sidelines and see what life on the other side of darkness looks like.”
He unfolds himself and stands, moving to me. “I know you hate me right now. It’s ok.” He pauses, waiting for me to look at him. “It’s also ok to take a chance and let the world see.” He pulls me into his arms, and I go reluctantly. He squeezes me, careful of my arm and shoulder. “I’m so proud that you’re mine, and you always will be, but it’s ok if you want to be his, too. I’ll allow it.”
A tear runs down my cheek, and I huff out a laugh. “What if—”
“When you love someone, really love them, those things don’t matter.” He pulls away to look at me. “Don’t decide for him that they’re deal breakers.”
He grabs my phone from the table and hands it to me. “Quit hiding. You’ve never been that girl.”
I swipe at my nose, and he steps toward the door.
“Badass Barbie?” I say, trying so damn hard not to cry.
He waves a hand in the air, pulling the door open. “No more bullet holes, Ryder. I can’t handle that shit.” He turns back. “You might as well plan a long vacation because your ass is on desk duty until I’m not pissed anymore. Just so you know, that will be for quite some time.”
I bite my lip as another tear breaks loose. “You’re a hard ass.”
He smiles. “Damn straight, I am. Raised my girls the same way.” He points at me. “Call him. The way I see it, you’ve got nothing to lose.”
He leaves, and I stare at my phone, the messages calling to me. I shove my phone in my armpit, grab two cookies, and then head to my room.
I step in and stop. A vase crammed full of black roses sits on my nightstand. Of course, he chose the perfect flower for me. I smile. Next to them is a sudoku book, and in the middle of my bed is a folded sweatshirt I’ve seen before with a note.
I set the cookies aside. My hand shakes as I flip the paper open.
No blood on this one, Jones. I mean it.
I pull in air to prevent crumpling to the floor.
Give myself a chance to see what is on the other side of darkness.
I stare at my phone, trying to blink away the tears, knowing there’s only one person I’d want to venture outside the dark with. I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to ask him to help me find my way when, at any moment, he could get tired of the struggle of having to lead me out.
Chapter 46
COLE
“Yo, man. Did you see what they’re saying today?” Ricketts holds his phone out.
I tug off my cleats and toss them aside. I don’t want to look.
News continues to spread about the shooting, and every imaginable story has been spun. All I can hope is that the victim’s identity remains anonymous. Thankfully, the team has respected my privacy, and the organization has threatened legal action against anyone who makes statements to the press.
I change socks and pull on my tennis shoes.
“There’s a full page recounting the events and your relationship with Jenkins. You’re even more of a hero now, Matthews.” Ricketts grins.
I still have trouble wrapping my head around Will doing this. I’ve analyzed every interaction, searching for clues I missed.
But then I remember what Tracker said. Some people do horrific things out of desperation and fear that we will never be able to comprehend.
In Will’s case, I have no doubt that watching his daughter’s constant pain and struggle to survive was only the starting point.
