I roll my eyes. “I’m not who he thinks I am. I’d only hurt him.”
Tracker kicks his feet out in front of him and crosses his ankles, getting comfortable.
My good shoulder slumps while the other burns like hell.
There’s a long stretch of silence. Tracker doesn’t move, but eventually, he lets out a slow breath that causes all of my insides to roll in on themselves, creating a protective layer from the force that is about to hit me.
“He knows enough.”
My spine stiffens. “What the hell does that mean?”
His eyes focus on the toes of his boots as my agitation soars.
Tracker finally mans up, and his eyes meet mine. “I told him. Not everything, but enough.”
I can’t breathe. There’s an explosion in the center of my chest, and shrapnel of every bit of shame and fear that I carry tears through my body. I try to pull air in, but rage crawls up my throat and blocks my airway.
I don’t know what my face shows, but he stays put, knowing he crossed a line.
“Breathe, Ryder. Just breathe. It’s ok.” His gentle voice does nothing to calm the storm.
I squeak, and it’s enough to shock my lungs back into rhythm, but they’re working too fast.
“You. . .had. . .no right.” It’s all I can choke out.
He rubs his jaw. “I didn’t, but I’d do it again.” His eyes tell me he means every word. “That man loves you. You, Ryder. Not Badass Barbie. Not the victim. Not the cover you put on to guard others from your past and the pain it holds. You.” He stares at me. “You’re not the only one who can read people. I can see it.”
I fist my hand, wanting to rip apart everything in sight and burn it all to ashes.
He leans forward, resting his arms on his legs, his head hanging. “His dad came to me, needing help years ago. Someone he loved had been hurt, and he needed evidence. It wasn’t my kind of case, but he was desperate, and I understood that. He was a good man and loved his children more than anything.”
He pauses, his face tipping up to mine, his eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them.
I want to jab them out with a pencil so they won’t look at me like that. I want rage to overrule the lump growing in my throat.
“Cole is an astounding football player but an even better man.” He stares through me, seeing everything. “I would’ve never put you on this assignment otherwise.”
I glare at him, pulling air in through my nose to try to lessen the scorching ache. “You did this on purpose,” I spit.
“I took a risk to give you a chance.”
“A chance at what, letting the world see me for what I am? Care about a man that I can never be with? The most amazing one who deserves to have a wife and family, and someone who can give him those things.”
He pulls himself up. “At a life you should’ve always had. Full of love and devotion. Trust and respect. A chance at true happiness, or at least to be able to catch glimpses of it when you can. To let a man see exactly who you are and for you to see that he’ll love you because of it. Not despite it, Ryder.”
His eyes are glossy, and I force out a breath, unable to look at him.
“When I pulled you from that yacht and every place after,thisis what I always saw. You, strong and beautiful, going after every piece of shit out there. . .and someday being able to accept someone’s love.”
“You and your sisters, Hope. . . You all have shown me what love is. What that word really feels like. What it means.” He taps the center of his chest with his fist. “Right here. It doesn’t take any of it away, but it dampens it enough to allow the good stuff to have room to grow. You have more love inside you than most, and that is because you know what it’s like to not be loved.”
Vomit rolls into the back of my throat.
He swallows and swipes at his face. “I love you. I love you and your sisters, even TJ. . . ” He huffs a laugh. “This is it, Ry.” His voice is stronger, more commanding. “It’s time to win. It’s time to take everything back.”
I rest back against the counter, my entire body on high alert. “This. . .is all I know how to do.” I squeeze through my clenched teeth.
“Then keep doing it, but when you’re done, go home to someone who loves you. Someone who makes the world a better place and makes you smile and laugh. Someone you can fall into because otherwise you’ll fall apart. If you don’t, this world, these people will beat you until there is nothing left. You aremygirl, and I can’t watch that happen.”
