I stare at this woman, who seems to know way more about this than I’ve ever known.
Her shiny eyes hold mine. “When you crack the door and let the light in, whether it’s to one or thousands, that darkness, that shame, it no longer holds the power.”
She slides her arm around me again. “There’s life beyond waiting for you, Ryder.” Her attention returns to the backyard, specifically, the man laughing with a little boy about his terrible throw. “That’s all we want for you. To love and be loved.”
I quit breathing to keep from crumpling into a ball, and we watch them in silence while I wonder if I’ll ever be brave enough to let myself have a chance at any of it.
Chapter 40
COLE
“In light of everything that’s happened, I’d like to know what options you’ll offer my client. I’ve reviewed the contract, and it appears that a trade once the season closes might be the best solution for all parties. Cole is too young and talented to be squandered within an organization that doesn’t seem to take much of anything seriously.”
I rest back in my chair, finally letting Rob do the job I should’ve asked him to do last season. My relationship and trust in the Stingrays have dwindled to nothing over these past two years. I may not have any options until my contract is up, but they need to understand I’m done standing by and watching all my hard work be shot to shit.
Greg rests back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “We couldn’t have had any idea of Mindy’s previous connection to Cole.”
Rob leans forward, clasping his hands. “That may be true, but somehow, she switched his playbook, which tells me your entire system is careless and broken. That should’ve never happened.”
“What are you looking for from us?” Jim, the Stingrays’s owner, asks.
He’s an old man, and from everything I’ve seen, he has a kind heart, but he’s a businessman. “Cole’s contract isn’t up until after next season. He’s the only thing keeping us afloat. I’m not interested in a trade.”
Rob rests back in his chair, matching Greg’s posture. “Then, I suggest a long, hard look at who’s running your organization and find some players who actually deserve to be out on that field.” He sniffs. “You know exactly what Cole is capable of and what his future holds. Right now, that won’t be here.”
Jim eyes me while Greg appears as if he’s about to shoot through the roof.
“Cole, it’ll take time to turn this ship around, but I want you as part of our team.” Jim’s head swivels to look at Greg. “We’ll be examining our members to see if we can get you some help out there.”
“Thank you, sir. I’m here to win, but I need a team that will show up.”
His chin dips in a nod. “Very good. Let’s hope your wrist is good to go this weekend. Jenkins won’t be able to hold these guys off. His focus is on his family.”
Although Will’s dedication hasn’t wavered despite his daughter remaining in the hospital, his focus is understandably elsewhere, and another quarterback has been added. I’ve been watching from the sidelines, giving my wrist a little more time to be sure it’s fully healed.
“Yes, sir. It’s feeling good,” I try to assure him.
He stands, dismissing us, and Rob and I leave the conference room. This meeting only calms a small portion of my anger and frustration, but it’s the one thing I can do right now. The rest, I need to figure out how to dampen.
It’s been four days since Ryder left, and it still burns like hell. Every day that goes by feels like she’s slipping further away.
I’ve held my phone every night with her name calling to me. But I’m gambling that if I give her a little time and space, she might actually miss me, too. Maybe it’ll be enough to change her mind or at least see that I might be worth the risk.
Rob claps my shoulder as we make our way out of the practice facility. “I did the best I could. They’d be idiots to let you go. They’re smart enough to recognize that.”
We push out the doors, and when I look toward my Range Rover, I’m reminded again that Ryder isn’t here waiting for me. The disappointment stings.
“Thanks for coming down and making it clear that I’m done with this circus.”
“Not a problem. I wish I could stay longer. You’ve got one season after this, then we’ll get you out of here. You should be tracking where you want to go. I’ll do my best to get you there.”
He stops before we part ways. “With this mess behind you, enjoy what you can.” He smiles, shaking my hand.
The only thing I found enjoyable about this city just left me.
My brain swirls as I drive home. I have a game in two days, and I need to be prepared.
I shower and cook dinner, then sit on my empty couch and watch other teams play the way I used to. When I can’t take any more, I move to my room and turn onSportsCenter.
