The enormity of what is happening still hasn’t fully sunk in. I can’t watch more than a couple of videos before the select few negative comments start to bang around my head. But clearer than that is the genuine awe of the larger number of people who find beauty in them, who see the story.
“Something about it is so haunting,” continues the young woman on Fifth Avenue. “I know that’s the same girl from before with the jellyfish. And it feels like she’s leaving, but I have no idea where from. Is someone forcing her? Did someone find out she can speak to jellyfish and she’s leaving to protect them? It’s filling me with such melancholy, you guys. Whoever drew this is a genius. The emotions are so intense. Also, absolutely in love with the sea turtle in her hair.”
I exit the video, refreshing my messages, hoping for one from Alexis to pop up. I haven’t heard from her for three days now, and the messages I sent her last night have all been delivered. I’m not sure what it means, but I think Nicole must have told her I tricked her. I tried explaining it in the messages, but I don’t know if Alexis believes me.
It doesn’t surprise me I don’t have any messages from Jamie. I was confused when he sent me the school notes from yesterday, but I think this just has become something he does—keeping a promise.
Nerves weigh me down when I get to school, and I strain my ears, looking over my shoulder. I make it to my locker and, to my shock, find it fixed. The lock is back in its place, and if it weren’t for the small dent in the door, I wouldn’t have known it was ever broken. Someone must have washed it as well because compared with the others, it’s gleaming.
I stare at it for a long moment and move to open it only to take my hand back.
This could be a trap.
I could open the locker and be splashed with expired fish soup.
I step back and head to class.
Alexis’s friends firmly ignore me, as does the rest of the class, which is all the better for me. I lower my guard a fraction and am able to focus on the lesson and take notes. But then Alexis glances over and gives me an apologetic grimace, to which I give her a shoulder shrug. A second later, I get a message from her.
Lexi:let’s talk after class.
I glance at it, typing out now you want to talk? before backspacing.
Me:ok
Lexi:art studio?
Me:sure
Lexi:ok I’ll see you there
When the period ends, I hang back to let everyone walk out and make my way to the art studio.
Alexis is already there, biting on her nails and tapping her foot on the floor.
“Hey,” I say, and she straightens up. The door closes behind me with a quiet thud.
“Hey.” For a while we just stare at each other.
“So I—” she begins, and I say, “What are—” at the same time.
We fall silent.
Something has changed between us. It might have been gradual, but it feels so sudden. Our usual relationship has vanished. Talking doesn’t feel easy anymore. I fidget with my hands, staring beside herhead. I’m too embarrassed to talk about the bullying, about Nicole, and she doesn’t seem to want to bring them up either.
“You okay?” she finally asks, and I think that’s the closest we’ll get to talking about it.
I snort. “Yeah, I guess.”
She stretches her fingers, running her teeth over her lips. The air is heavy like a humid day, the perspiration beading on my skin.
“I can see some of the colors now,” I say, trying to salvage something.
She nods absently, and heat rushes to my cheeks.
“That’s great, but I think we need to focus on the whole Jamie thing.”
I straighten my back, hiding my hands in my pockets. Her eyes trace every part of me, and I suddenly see myself the way she sees me.
