The needle and thread shimmered in the dim light as Qori stitched another tiny sun onto the hem of what Nina now knew was a dress.
“Can you imagine being married to the emperor?” Qori asked. “A descendant of a god. Thesun god, no less. What a gift it must be.”
“It sounds like a burden,” Nina mumbled.
Qori’s fingers paused their stitching, and her eyes shot to Nina’s.
“Being married, I mean,” Nina carefully added. “Imagine how much is expected of her.”
“Empress Chaska was once an aclla, and it was her tayta who orchestrated the union to Emperor Maicu.” Qori began stitching again as she continued to speak. “I’m sure she was more than prepared for such a role. And look what has come from it! Tullumay is now a part of Tawantinsuyu. The empire strengthens every day.”
The union of Emperor Maicu and Empress Chaska was a celebration that reached even the far shores of Limac. Nina recalled how Inti Raymi had been especially festive that year, with every household receiving a bounty of meat courtesy of the emperor’s household. They had feasted for weeks, and then life had gone back to normal.
She had wondered how much had changed for Empress Chaska’s ayllu after joining Tawantinsuyu.
Nina could not remember Limac before it had been absorbed,only that after, much had changed. An agreement had been struck, and the emperor implemented the chani, the price paid for belonging to his empire. It hardly mattered that most of their people didn’t want to belong. The emperor’s banner, a golden sun set against a red sky, was raised over their altar all the same, and the next year, Samaq was taken.
In return, they had gained access to the emperor’s road and trade with other ayllus. Protection, should they ever need it. After all, her people were not warriors. They had no nobles to establish dominance. No designs on conquering and ruling. They lived simple lives. Peaceful lives.
Boringlives, if Nina was being honest. The morning the kunay had come for her, she had been wishing for adventure. Now here she was, thick in the middle of one and wishing for nothing more than to return home.
Nina picked up the sewing project she had begun the day before and considered Qori’s words as she tried and failed to complete a simple stitch. The needle slipped and pricked her finger, not for the first time. She licked the blood away and began again. “The empire strengthens, but at what cost? And for what reason? What comes next?”
They were questions she hadn’t been able to put into words before then. Thoughts that had stayed buried beneath her desire to please her mamay and tayta. To be compliant and helpful.
The way Qori was looking at her now made her think she should have stayed that way. “There is no need to justify a union. We are stronger together, Nina. That is the only reason we need.”
“It’s just that it seems that Emperor Maicu might be benefitting from thisunionmore than we are, and—”
“That is enough, Nina. I understand you are unfamiliar with the customs and expectations of us as acllas since you are very new, and very late, but we are here to serve the empire and the gods. This is how we contribute and earn favor.” Qori gestured to the fabric in Nina’s lap, and to the walls around them. “There is nothing else we need to concern ourselves with.”
Nina stared at Qori as she continued to work, her fingers confident and her features free of worry. It must have been such a relief to know one’s place in the world and accept it so fully. Sacha was much like that. Always content to do as she was told, to help in any way she could, while Nina constantly sought to understand. Toknow. Others thought her obstinate, but it was simple curiosity.
Over time, she had learned to dampen it, but it was that same curiosity that had Nina watching the other girls throughout the rest of the day. They were disinterested, flitting from one task to the next without question or complaint, but when Nina’s finger stung from too many pricks, she threw the needle to the floor and watched it roll away. Qori had simply handed her another. And by the time they broke for the evening meal, Nina felt ragged with exhaustion. Her back ached and her feet throbbed, and her head was pounding with each beat of her heart, whereas there was a quiet intensity, a surety, that held the other girls’ heads high and their shoulders back. They confidently navigated the halls and their chores, and Nina couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was the tea’s influence, and how much of it was a misguided sense of honor at being chosen.
Though Nina felt more of everything without the tea and was glad to be clear minded once again, she wished she couldn’t feel the eerie silence so heavy on her shoulders. She wanted to stand, to shake the pressure away and run as far as possible, but the mamakuna was at the head of the room, her sharp eyes aware of every charge under her care.
Nina ate her bowl of vegetable stew that was as bland as every other meal and kept her head down, determined to focus on taking one bite after another and keeping her movements as steady and demure as Qori’s beside her.
But all Nina could think wasI will die here.Sacha would have thrived under the calm routine and the careful dedication. She would have exceeded Mamakuna Dusi’s expectations.
The regret returned, churning Nina’s stomach and prodding her further toward a dangerous idea that had begun to form early that morning.
Night had fallen, and the acllahuasi was dark and quiet as Nina and Qori made their way to the baths. Nina subtly kept track of every step she took, every shadowed corner and gaping doorway. Especially the main door in the barren receiving room. The two acllas from her first night stood within it, watching them as they passed. She kept her eyes down even when she heard Qori greet them.
This time, Nina had the luxury of bathing herself. It was a quick and solemn affair, and possibly the only thing that reminded her of home. It had always been a time of reflection, of deep cleansing. Not only physically, but mentally as well. For Nina, it was that and more.
Beneath the water was the only time that she felt like she could breathe. It was the only pressure that didn’t feel like a fist around her heart. The water cradled her and held her aloft. Her shoulders relaxed and her mind cleared, and she let herselfbe.
The reprieve was short-lived. A hand wrapped around her elbow and pulled her up, and Qori eyed her inquisitively. Nina said nothing as she finished washing and dried off. The acllas were gone, and only one torch lit the way back to their room.
The girls had the implicit trust of the mamakuna. For them, it was an honor to be there, to be chosen to serve. Nina could only assume it was the most important thing in the world to them. But for her, it was a nightmare. One that filled her with resentment.
Why did the emperor feel he had the right to come and disrupt their lives? To demand their children and their crops? Limac was a self-sufficient and thriving ayllu. They had the gods’ favor; they didn’t needEmperor Yachua’s as well, and certainly not his son’s, who was barely older than Nina when he took his tayta’s place.
If Nina escaped and returned home, perhaps she could convince her people to withhold the chani. To refuse to hand over their children. Perhaps everything could be different.
Sleep did not come easily for Nina. She agonized over what she wanted as opposed to the vow she had made to the kunay to keep Sacha safe. But the further she was from it, the less important it felt, until hours had passed and she finally rolled out of bed and slipped on her shoes.
