“We don’t have to do this right now,” I tell him. “This isn’t about me.”
“I need you to know this,” he says quickly. “When I hung up the phone that night, I promised myself that I’d find a way to have you. I hated myself for how you sounded and I hated that I wasn’t with you. There has been no one since then and there never will be anyone but you. I’m sorry that this is happening. It kills me that I put us in this situation, but Adeline, I need you.” His eyes go glassy, like he’s fighting tears. “Tabitha means absolutely nothing to me?—”
“She’s the mother of your child,” I say softly. “I had a really shitty father. One who was never around. Who never put me first, or even second or third. I won’t let any child, especially yours, experience that kind of pain.”
He scowls, the look anguished. “I can be a father without being anyone to Tabitha.”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
I say the word, but I don’t believe it. I know women like Tabitha well. They’re everywhere hockey players tend to be. I’ve watchedthem work their charm for years. And they all have one goal. Tabitha got her wish. She’s not going to make this easy.
Still, I force a smile. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s just…go meet your daughter.”
“You’re the most important person in the world to me, Adeline.”
I smile sadly, my lips wobbling. “Not anymore. And I shouldn’t be.”
JJ blinks at me, like he’s considering denying it. But he’s a good guy. The best. The moment we walk in there, his heart is going to shift. As it should. I wouldn’t love him the way I do if he didn’t fall absolutely in love the second he sees his little girl.
So I smile when he leads me into the dimly lit room. I smile as he goes quiet, taking in his daughter for the first time. And I stand back, allowing him to choose her. Thankful he chooses her. It’s the right thing to do. Even if my heart is breaking, I stand tall, silently watching him settle on the bed beside Tabitha so he can hold his daughter.
“Does she have a name?” His voice cracks on the last word.
Tabitha, who looks annoyingly gorgeous twenty-four hours after a c-section, nods. “Her name is Avery Catherine Hanson.”
I have to bite back a spiteful laugh. She’s good. I’ll give her that. Naming her after JJ’s mom is diabolical, really.
JJ turns to me. “Hey, baby, come meet my daughter.”
Tabitha’s face falls. She shifts, her strawberry blond hair hiding her eyes, but I swear she’s shooting daggers at me as I take a step closer.
I ignore her for a moment, focusing instead on the soft smile on JJ’s face as he studies his little girl. She’s so tiny, six pounds, two ounces according to the weight on the board. Seventeen inches. She’s got fuzzy blond hair and rosy cheeks. She lets out a big yawn, and when she opens her eyes, my heart stutters. They’re the same color as JJ’s. Ice blue. If there was ever any question about paternity, we’ve got our answer. “Avery, this is Adeline. She’s my bestest friend in the whole world and I know she’ll be yours too.”
Tabitha makes a squeaky sound. I ignore that too, instead focusing on the small hand wrapped around his pointer finger.
She squeezes and he laughs, his gaze flying to mine. “She’s got a good grip.”
“Hi, Avery,” I say. My voice sounds rough against my own ears. “It’s so nice to meet you.” I run my finger gently against her hand, a strange affection blooming inside me as the softness of her skin registers. “She’s perfect.”
He nods. “She really is.”
“Could you get me ice?” Tabitha asks. “And water?”
Stepping back, I glance at her. “Sure.”
“Not you,” she says. “JJ, can you?”
He silently defers to me. Not wanting to overstep or get involved, I nod quickly.
With a kiss to Avery’s forehead, he stands and faces Tabitha. “Do you want to hold her?”
“Put her in the bassinet,” she says with a wave of her hand. “They told me not to coddle her. Better that she gets used to being in a crib now.”
I frown. I’ve been surrounded by children my whole life, and never once has anyone warned against coddling a newborn.
“Oh, okay,” JJ says, sounding a little thrown too. He settles Avery in the clear plastic bassinet.
She makes a little whimpering noise, though she quiets quickly. Sweet baby. “Want to come with me?” JJ asks as he heads my way.
