Bray squeezes my knee. I don’t move. I can’t even accept his sympathy. So with my jaw locked tight and breathing through my nose to hold back the tears, I close my eyes and tune everyone out.
Hours later my mood hasn’t improved, but after a FaceTime call with Avery and my mother, my heart doesn’t hurt so much. My girl was all smiles and my mom promised that she and Dad were thrilled to have her for the week.
I swear I have the best parents in the world.
I’m brushing my teeth when a knock sounds on my door. Assuming it’s Adeline, I stride over to it and pull it open so she can get in quickly.
Sneaking around. Always fucking sneaking around.
She sighs, her shoulders sinking. “I know you’re pissed about Ryan, but?—”
“I don’t give a fuck about Ryan,” I say around my toothbrush. I head for the bathroom and spit into the sink. After rinsing out my mouth, I set the toothbrush down and turn, only to find that Adeline has me cornered in the bathroom, blocking the door, so I prop myself up against the counter and cross my arms.
“Please, I know you aren’t thrilled that he’s our new coach.”
The chuckle that works its way out of me is dry and annoyed. “Do you blame me? The guy was obsessed with you years ago, and now here he is again, eye-fucking you every chance he gets.”
She folds her arms, her expression hard. “He’s our coach, nothing more.”
I blow out a breath. Fuck. I don’t want to fight. “Seriously, it’s not about Ryan. I’m just—I don’t think I’ll make good company tonight.”
Head tilted, Adeline frowns. “You want me to leave?”
“It’s Avery.” I pull on my neck. “She freaked out this afternoon. She’s taking Tabitha’s disappearance so damn hard, and I just—I can’t fucking find her. Or get her to pick up the goddamn phone and talk to her daughter.” My heart thunders, and I can feel my blood pressure rising. “And until she’s served and I get custody arrangements in place, I can’t tell Avery a thing. Hell, even then I don’t know that I can.” I tug at my hair. “If I knew Tabitha would be gone for good, I could prepare Avery for that. But what if she comes back? Then what do I do? What if she finally gets served, only to fight for custody? I just—I don’t fucking know what to do, and every time I walk out that door, I feel like I’m failing my daughter.”
Adeline steps forward, concern written all over her face. “Tabitha couldn’t just come back, could she? I mean, she abandoned Avery.”
“That’s what my attorneys will be arguing,” I mutter. “But that’s the point. I’m still fighting for my daughter. And until I work that out?—”
Her eyes widen and her lips part. “Oh.” She takes a step back. “I can go. I didn’t mean to make things harder on you.”
I grasp her wrist, dragging my thumb over her soft, warm skin, soothing myself. “I’m just—I wanted you to know where my head was at. I didn’t mean I wanted you to leave. I never want you to leave. I want you to be part of this.” Forcing my head up, I admit, “I just don’t know if that’s fair.”
Eyes narrowing, she steps closer, standing taller. “Fuck fair, JJ. No matter what, I would want to be here for you. But the way I love that little girl? I want—” She flattens her lips and takes a deep breath. “I want to be whatever I can be for her. As much as you’re comfortable with. Like Beckett was for me. He may not be my biological dad, but he’s more of a father to me than mine ever was. It still hurts knowing that my biological father chose not to be part of my life, and Avery will experience the same kind of pain, no matter how much we want to protect her. But we can show her that not everyone leaves. That the people who truly love her will always show up. I want to be that person for her. If you’ll let me.”
As always, I’m blown away by this woman. By her heart. And for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel so alone in all of this. Adelinegiving me a second chance was a long shot, but her loving my daughter the way she does is the dream.
Looping my arms around her, I pull her into my chest, and for the first time today, the pressure behind my ribs eases. I press a kiss to the top of her head and breathe her in. “I love you. You know that, right?”
She nods against my chest. “I love you too.”
“And Avery loves you.” With a sigh, I add, “I think she’ll be okay.”
Face tipped up, she gives me one of her soft smiles. “We’ll make sure she is.”
I press my mouth to hers. I need to be closer to her. Because today has been painful and this woman always makes things better.
She hums softly against my mouth, like she feels the same way.
Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she pulls me closer, deepening the kiss.
Grunting, I settle my hands under her ass and pick her up. With her snug against me, legs around my hips, I walk into the bedroom and straight to the bed, where I fall on top of her.
“Need you,” I tell her between kisses.
I drag her onto my lap and pull on her top, fumbling and desperate. She helps me by tugging it over her head and then undoing her bra. While I struggle to remove her pants, she grasps the hem of my shirt. She loses her balance and almost falls off my lap. And as we break into laughter, I toss her onto the bed, stand up, and pull my pants down. I’m done playing games.
Licking her lips, she kicks her leggings into the corner of the room. And then she backs up on the bed until she’s lying against the pillows, naked, complete perfection.
