I blow out a breath. I should discuss it with Adeline. Get her thoughts.
Feeling a little less like I’m going to crack a tooth but still like my heart is in my throat, I hustle through the airport. I’m late, so when I get to the gate, the team has already boarded.
I offer an apology to Gavin, but he only shakes his head. “I remember those days.”
I raise a brow.
“Avery having a tough time letting you go? Vivi used to scream and cry when I’d leave. What I’d do to have those days back,” he says with a wistful smile. “Now it seems everything I say is wrong.”
I grimace. Damn, that’s got to hurt. The Vivi I know is sweet and kind. I hope they figure it out.
He sighs. “She traveled with us until she turned five. Some of those days were rough, even with Millie’s help. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
I’m an empath, there’s no doubt. I feel things deeply, but I rarely let the painful emotions show. But I’m so goddamn overwhelmed right now. I feel like I might just break. Tears blur my vision, but I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and nod. If I try talking right now, I’ll lose it. So I squeeze his arm and head down the aisle. He cuffs my shoulder, stopping me, and when I turn around, he holds my gaze. “It’s okay.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m good.”
With a nod, he lets go.
Head down, I head straight to the back. The second I spot Adeline, a rush of relief hits me. For the first time in an hour, I’m hit with the urge to smile.
That evaporates quickly, though, when I realize the seat beside her is taken.
By Ryan fucking Hobbs.
I approach, standing a little too close to him, and say, “Aren’t you supposed to be sitting up front with the coaches?”
He darts a look at Adeline, then looks back my way. “I wanted to run a few things by Addie.”
“Should I sit here so we can all discuss?” Brow raised, I point to the row across from them. It’s occupied, but the guys are watching me like they’re ready to hop up the second I ask. Maybe it’s the expression on my face. Murder. That’s what it probably says. I want to murder this guy. And anyone who gets in my way. I’m just…today is not the fucking day.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you. Go rest. Addie and I have this covered.” He smiles again, dismissing me.
I lean to one side, assessing Adeline.
The look she gives me in return begs for me to listen.
Bray calls out to me from two rows back, probably sensing that I’m on the verge of losing my shit. “Hanson, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
With a grunt, I head in his direction. I slump in the seat beside him quickly and put on my seat belt. I’ve held up the entire team long enough. I may be pissed, but I’m not a complete dick.
My best friend turns my way, silently examining me.
I shake my head, facing forward. “Not in the fucking mood for your commentary, Cap.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything.”
I scoff. “Right.”
“He’s her coach, just like she was yours,” he reminds me. “Nothing is going on.”
“Yup.”
“Listen, I?—”
“Seriously, Bray, I can’t do this right now,” I grit out. “My kid is having a meltdown because her mom hasn’t called in three fucking months. I can’t find the goddamn woman to serve her with divorce papers, and the woman I’m in love?—”
I swallow down the words and shake my head. Then I remove my headphones from around my neck and pull them over my ears. Every step forward feels so precarious. I’m not sure which one is hidingquicksand. Which will do me in, stealing all I’ve built over these last few weeks—things I’ve spent years praying for—as I sink.
