JJ pulls her onto his lap, snuggling her tightly, and a wave of envyhits me. Not because he’s holding her but because they’re right in front of me, and yet they still feel so far away.
But that’s my doing. It’s time to remember that. And I don’t have to do it anymore.
So I hold out my arms. “No skate this morning. Come give me snuggles too. Your daddy’s right. I was super lonely this morning, and I came looking for you to snuggle, but all I found was stinky Daddy.”
“Daddy’s not stinky.” Laughing, she leaps out of his lap and runs across the bed toward me, stepping on my legs in the process.
Pain shoots through me, but I bite back a wince as she pulls back the covers and snuggles into my side. Thank god I put clothes on after we cleaned up last night.
Sighing, I run my fingers through her silky curls. “Maybe not, but he doesn’t smell as good as you.” I press my nose to her head and inhale her. “Why do you smell like sugar?”
Her giggles light me up inside. “You’re silly. I’m no sugar. I’m Avery.”
On the other side of the bed, JJ wears a soft smile, watching us.
God, I love him so much. This moment is everything we’ve been missing. Everything we could have had. Everything we still could.
I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. We can’t go public with our relationship, so it’s best if we keep it a secret, but it’s impossible to do that around his little girl. I need her in this little bubble with us.
This isn’t just sex. This isn’t a fling. JJ and I are building a life together, and Avery is an integral part of that life, so while we lay the foundation, it’s important that she’s right there with us.
But our girl has a big mouth, so I have to be careful. I can’t have her telling my father or any of my uncles that I’ve been sleeping with her daddy again.
“Adeline and I have to go to the arena this afternoon for a meeting, but maybe we can make pancakes and bacon before we go,” JJ says.
Avery peers up at me. “Do you like pancakes? I love pancakes, and Daddy always lets me put all the things in mine.”
My lips curl up at the sweetness in her voice. “And what are all the things?”
She flattens her lips, giving me a serious look. “Can you keep a secret?”
I peer over at JJ, who nods, so I do the same.
“Good, because this is really special. No one knows but Daddy and me because we’re the dream team. If we tell you this, you’ll be on the dream team too. Do you want to be on our dream team?”
The way she says it, like it’s a revered position, is so damn special.
And yeah, I’ve wanted to be on a few teams in my life, but never have I wanted to be part of one as much as I do now.
Voice cracking, I say, “I’d like that very much.”
Avery bounces up and jumps on the bed. “You hear that, Daddy? She wants to be on our team.” She throws herself into his chest.
He hugs her tight. “Of course she does, Aves. We’re the best team.” Though he’s smiling for his daughter, his eyes are flooded with emotion.
He never hides the way he feels. I don’t think he even tries. If I’d allowed myself to believe that years ago, then maybe I would have seen that it was all right there in front of me from the beginning. He’s been looking at me the same way for the last ten or so years.
Standing in his lap, Avery spins, drapes an arm around his shoulder, and tips her head against his shoulder. “So first we use chocolate chips?—”
She rattles off the secret ingredients, which I discover quickly are necessities for a basic chocolate chip pancake recipe.
But the belief she has that there’s something magical about them fills me with affection. Of course she believes it. Because that’s what JJ does. He makes even the simplest things feel magical.
“God, I could eat pancakes like that every morning.” Finn tilts back in his chair, rubbing his abs. He makes sure to lift his shirt so we all have to see them. Idiot.
The twins ate their weight in pancakes and then ran outside. It’sfreezing, but not one of us stopped them. After all that sugar, they need the movement.
Winnie left for work before we made it downstairs, and Vivi is suspiciously quiet in the corner of the room, picking at her pancakes.
