“What is gentle parenting?” asks Jordan, mystified.
“It’s a parenting fad,” explains Mae.
“It’s a parentingstyle,” corrects Natalie. “Not a fad.”
“Give me the sound bite.”
“Well,” begins Natalie. “The idea is that you focus on empathy, understanding, and healthy boundaries. So, if you’re trying to get out the door and your kid is throwing a tantrum, instead of screaming, ‘Put your shoes on!’ like an old-school parent, you’d explain why the kid needs to be on time to school and how you, the parent, need to be on time to work, and the tantrum is making you feel anxious, so maybe you can talk about why the kid is upset and both get out the door together.”
“Oh my god,” says Jordan. “That sounds really time-consuming.” She does not point out that Natalie’s kids don’t go to school and Natalie doesn’t go to work. Does she have to rush them to the milking barn? “Does anyone ever actually get out the door that way?”
“Sometimes,” says Natalie, chewing her lip, considering. “Not always.”
“Don’t you read Natalie’s Substack?” Mae says. “She did a whole piece on it. ‘The Ungentle Part of Gentle Parenting.’ It was really good! Natalie, you’re such a good writer.”
“Thank you,” says Natalie. She looks expectantly at Jordan, as if for her to corroborate.
“I don’t always have time to read. My job keeps me really busy.”
“I have noticed you’re not a subscriber.”
“Really? You check whodoesn’tsubscribe?”
To her drink Natalie says, “Sometimes I forget that you only have time when it suits you.”
The air stills. “Whoa,” says Mae. “Major mood shift.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asks Jordan. She looks at Natalie’s glass. It’s empty, and she’s looking again at the cocktail menu.
“Another round, please,” Natalie tells the bartender.
Mae says, “But I’m not—” and Natalie says, “So drink the first one down, sister.”
When they have their second drinks Jordan repeats, “What did you mean, Natalie?”
“Nothing. Just that sometimes you have time, and sometimes you don’t have time.” Natalie shrugs. “That’s how it is.”
“What did youmean?” she repeats. Natalie shakes her head, still bowed over her glass. “What did youmeanthat sometimes I have time and sometimes I don’t? Natalie?”
When Natalie looks up her eyes are blazing. “I mean that you don’t have time to help me with what I’m going through. Right now, today.”
“Hang on,” says Mae. “What am I missing? What is Natalie going through? What do you not have time for?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t havetime—” What she doesn’t have, Jordan thinks, is desire.
Natalie cuts her off. “And how about when Mom was dying? How much time did you have then?”
“Whoa,” says Mae, shocked. “Natalie!”
“I wastherewhen Mom died!” cries Jordan. “We all were!” She’s not crazy, right? They were all there! Calvin, Kara, Mae, Natalie—the gang was all there.They heard the death rattle.
“She was dying for longer than just two days, Jordan. Until I was too pregnant to travel often I was there a lot more than you were.”
This is so unfair Jordan can hardly believe it. “You live an hour away. I was three hours away, with a demanding job.”
“I was pregnant, with two little kids, and I made it work. I went to her appointments.”
“Being pregnant isn’t ajob, Natalie.”
