“Those last two make you sound like a dog. Maybe I should get a dog.”
“Why get a dog when you have me?” He nudged me with his elbow. “I’m a great companion.”
We shared subdued smiles as we ate in silence, simply enjoying the feeling of not being alone.
“Can I be honest with you?” Ryan said as he grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth.
“I would prefer that to you lying to me.”
A half-cocked boyish grin hooked on the corner of his mouth. “Smartass.”
He sat back against the couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I curled my feet up on the couch and tucked into his side. It was such a normal feeling that the gravity of that comfort didn’t fully resonate.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I liked your books. But the part I need to be honest about is that I didn’t start reading them on the drive. Not entirely. I read one of them before Rom-Con. To be fair, I read one of Whitney’s and Wander’s too. And one written by that other guy.”
“Jordan Loft.”
His fingers grazed my shoulder as he traced abstract shapes on my body. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about yours. Then we met in the check out line. I didn’t recognize you because your hair was purple the last time you posted a picture on social media. And then everything happened the next morning. But every assumption or notion that I had about you in all thosemoments pales in comparison to who I’m learning that you are.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope that I get to keep knowing you.”
THE FORD METHOD: WEEK FIVE
HIATUS
Welcome to month two of The Ford Method. Whether you’ve been spacing each challenge out week by week, or doing them on your own schedule, you’ve spent a lot of intense, intentional time with your partner. Way to go!
It’s important to take time to reflect, so this week’s theme is hiatus.
This isn’t a break from your relationship. Rather, it’s a chance to ease off the gas and enjoy the scenery.
Our favorite word thus far has been “intentional.” That’s the goal. But there’s another I-word you should be cautious of.
Infatuation.
Infatuation can feel a lot like love. It gives you the rush and high of connection and the excitement of possibilities. It’s not all bad. Often, infatuation is where relationships start. It’s exhilarating. You find someone that you can’t stop thinking about and want to spendall your time with them. That’s a great thing. But if your relationship doesn’t grow roots, it won’t last.
For a partnership to go the distance, you need outside support. Often, people unintentionally cut themselves off from their friends and family during the early stages of a relationship. It’s also important to remember that you matter as an individual as much as you matter as part of a unit.
This week, enjoy casual time with your partner. Do something to better yourself. Learn something new. Enjoy a hobby. Tackle the to-do list you’ve put off. Encourage your partner to spend time with their friends and family. You should do the same as well. When you see each other again, talk about the people in your life and why you love them. Tell each other how they make you feel and the value that they add to your life.
Don’t get me wrong—this hiatus week is not Ross and Rachel shouting about being on a break. In fact, it might be the most intense week of all.
Find your new normal. What does life look like in the mundane? Do you enjoy spending time with your partner without all the bells and whistles of a date?
The spectacle of romance is exciting, but we’re aiming for intention over infatuation. The reality of relationships is that life happens. You don’t get to choose when it does. Your partner might have a health scare thattakes sex off the table for a while. You might go through financial hardships that mean you have to prioritize the bare necessities over dates and excursions. What keeps the flame alive in those moments?
Your partner should be your best friend.
You should enjoy sitting in the dark, eating ramen, pancakes, and bananas as much as five-star restaurants and romantic outings. Do you like talking to your partner? Do they challenge you and push you to be better? Do you face distress as a team, or does it test your bond?
That’s what this week is about.
Take a break from the spectacle, and work on what your relationship looks like when everything is stripped away.
14
RYAN
POOR MAN’S MARGARITAS
