I settled on the couch and opened the WW text thread that had been blowing up for the better part of an hour.
Whitney
Proof of life check on Willow.
Wander
Did you make it to Michigan? Did you kill Ryan and you’re secretly on the run?
Whitney
He’s alive . . . I think. He posted a photo of her hair. Kinda cryptic but mostly cute.
Wander
She could have posted that from his account to hide the fact that she left his body somewhere in Indiana. The trick is to leave body parts in different states.
Whitney
Are you writing serial killers now? Because I totally want to read a serial killer book by you.
The chat went on and on as they bounced from topic to topic. Finally, it looped back to the proof-of-life request again.
Wander
Wills—It’s been three days since we’ve heard from you. Are you on the run? Send the eggplant emoji if you’re an outlaw.
Whitney
Great. If she sends the eggplant, the FBI agent assigned to look into our questionable internet searches will know that she’s on the run.
Me
What’s the opposite of an eggplant?
Whitney
1. Thank goodness you’re not on the run. 2. It’s the pencil emoji. If Ryan is packing an eggplant, then the opposite is a pencil dick.
I dropped the pencil emoji into the text thread, then glanced up and watched Ryan moving back and forth in the kitchen. He had popped something into the toaster oven and had a kettle going on the stove. His back was to me, giving me an unobstructed view of the straps of muscle that crisscrossed his back and shoulders, and the obscene way his mesh gym shorts cupped his ass.
If the feel of him on top of me this morning was any indicator, he was definitely packing an eggplant.
I looked down at the text thread and debated what to tell them.
Wander
Did you make it to Michigan or are you still on the road?
Me
Change of plans. We’re in Kansas.
Whitney
We? We as in you and Ryan? OH MY GOD.
Wander
