Willow dismissed the notion with a flick of her hand. “The house was perfect as always.”
Bev looked into the living room. “Well hey, Cynthia. Lisa.” Her brows lifted. “And Amber. Good to see you ladies.”
Everyone said polite hellos; even Amber.
“You want to sit a while?” Willow asked Bev. “I’ve got cookies.”
Bev just shook her head. “No, no. I don’t want to intrude. I’ve gotta run to the store to get some reinforcements for the house before the new renters come. I just wanted to pop in and see you before you left. It’s good to see all of you in one room. After all the things that have been going around town, I wasn’t sure if you all were leaving on good terms or not.”
Shit.
Cynthia paled.
Lisa’s eyes turned to saucers.
Willow cocked her head. “What ‘things’ going around town? About me and Ryan?” She laughed. “We’re still together if that’s what you’re asking.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Bev didn’t skip a beat. “Not about you and Ryan. About Shep being your father.”
I opened my mouth to cut her off, but it was too late.
Bev pointed to me. “All the old biddies at your momma’s salon were yapping about it all week after your man showed up to the salon and confronted her about it.”
The silence hurt my ears. It felt like being stuck in a vacuum. There was no sound. Only pressure.
Willow didn’t look at me. She didn’t even move. Her eyes stayed on Bev through seven painstaking seconds of silence.
And then she spoke.
“Well,” Willow said. “Thanks for stopping by and for letting us stay in the house on such short notice.”
Bev just smiled like she hadn’t hit the launch button on a thousand emotional nuclear warheads. “Of course, dear. Any time. Safe travels.”
Willow walked Bev to the door and waved her off as she got into her car and left. But she never closed the front door. She calmly walked back into the living room, and said, “We need to finish packing and get to bed early. You can see yourselves out.” Then, she walked into the bedroom and shut the door.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have an answer for what to do next. I wanted her to be angry. To be irate. To yell at me and ask questions. I wanted her to fight with me. I wanted to tell her the truth.
I would have if I’d just had five more minutes.
But she didn’t know that.
All she knew was that her world had shattered, and I had pulled the trigger.
31
AUTUMN
STOP, BLOCK, AND ROLL
Ilay awake, numb to the world as the minutes until sunrise ticked by. Our bags were packed and waiting by the door. The house was spotless. All that was left to do was leave the keys under the doormat and head out.
My phone lit up as texts from Lisa and my mother peppered the screen. I didn’t care about the notifications. I didn’t care about leaving them unanswered.
Ryan laid beside me, finally snoring after he had tossed and turned all night. He had tried to start the conversation that I knew was inevitable, but I didn’t want to hear it.
I wasn’t stupid. I put the pieces together as soon as the words came out of Bev’s mouth.
