Drew andIsettled down for the rest of the ride back.Bythe time we arrived back at home-sweet-fire-station and started on the gear checks,Istill hadn’t gotten her out of my head.
What had to happen to make a person look like that?Sosullen and defeated.Wasit just the state of the house or something more?
“I know that look,”Drewsaid as we went through the post-call routine. “You’restill thinking about her.I’dput money on you clocking out in the morning and running over there to see what the deal is with your new neighbor.”
“I thought you said that’d be you,”Icountered. “Icharge rent to fake roommates, by the way.Propertytaxes aren’t cheap.”
ButDrewwas right.Ihad already started formulating my morning plan.Ifluck was on our side, we’d have a q-u-i-e-t night, get some shut-eye, andI’dbe well rested and neighborly in the morning.
Neighborly.Right.That’swhatI’dcall it.
“Just be careful, dude,”Drewwarned as he shucked out of his bunker gear and got it situated for whatever fresh hell the next call would bring.
I did the same with my gear. “Whyare you telling me to be careful?WhenamIever not careful?”
Drew pressed a hand to his chest. “Me?Ican handle summertimers.Alittle crazy, temporary fun is where it’s at.Andwhen it’s over, it’s over.Nohard feelings.Nocalling after.Nopromises to make it work long-distance.Localfirefighters are like catnip for tourists.We’rethe summertime fantasy.”
I grabbed the back of his neck in a brotherly shove. “Hasanyone ever told you that you have a wild imagination?”
Drew snickered and spun out of my grip. “I’mjust warning you.”
4
AURORA
DICK SLAPPED
In case life hasn’t screwed you enough, this should do the trick.Happyhousewarming!
XO,
Whit &Willow
Idropped the note back into the cardboard shipping box asIclapped my hand over my mouth and laughed.LikeIhad conjured it, my phone rang.
“Are you watching me or something?”Isaid as the call looped all three of us in. “Ijust opened your little housewarming gift.”
Whitney was the first to chime in. “Happyhousewarming,Wander!”
“I’ve been procrastinating by watching the tracking updates all day,”Willowsaid.
I reached into the box and pulled out the massive dildo that was as big as my forearm. “Whatthe hell, guys!”
Whitney tossed her head back and laughed. “Wejust figured that if the house wasn’t fucking you over enough, you deserved to get dicked down by something that can actually get the job done.”
“Besides.Goodsex toys aren’t cheap,”Willowsaid. “Andwe thought since you’re no longer sharing a wall with your mother, you can take advantage of the distance and take care of business.LordknowsTerrywasn’t getting anything done.”
“I don’t think that man-child could find the clit if he had aGPS, a map, and a tour guide dragging him along with a leash.NotthatIwould know personally,”Whitneysaid. “Hejust seemed completely inept.”
And he was.Myex was terrible at everything except making me feel like shit and draining my bank account.
I wielded the heavy silicone dick like a weapon in front of the camera. “Guys, this thing would disembowel me.”Ilaughed as it wobbled back and forth. “You’rejoking, right?”
Frankly, it looked like a replica of something found in monster romances.
“And that’s why there’s a top-of-the-line vibrator at the bottom of the box, picked out by yours truly,”Whitneysaid with a satisfied smile. “Nothingsays happy housewarming like goodO’s!”
“We threw in batteries too,”Willowchimed in. “Wedidn’t know if you had electricity at the house yet.”
