Zafir cleared his throat. “I have to tell you something.”
I didn’t give any indication I’d heard him. I wanted a giant ball of flames to consume me so I could be incinerated on the spot.
“I lied,” he went on. “Ididspike your drink with a small dose of an infatuation elixir.”
Relief swept through me. I wasn’t in love; I’d just been drugged, that was all. My shoulders relaxed and I turned back to him. “I knew it!”
He was watching me closely. “I wanted to see if it would work when the subject wasn’t expecting it. I expected it with mine and hypothesized that it was easier to resist its influence because I was forewarned.”
“I should secretly give you another dose at some point to even the score.”
“If you’re so inclined. I’ll have to be very careful about what I consume from now on. It’s late. We need sleep.”
“Of course.”
After clearing away my potion, which had been completely ruined, we went to the bedroom to lie down, but I couldn’t fall asleep.
“So…what did it feel like?” Zafir asked. “I’ll need to document the effects correctly.”
My cheeks burned. But it was only fair that I answered honestly; Zafir had done so when we’d tried the potion on him. “I…I wanted to be close to you.”
“That’s to be expected. I had the same desire when I took the elixir.”
I relaxed a little more, glad he wasn’t mocking me. “I was thinking about you all the time, and several of your personality traits seemed less obnoxious than normal.”
“How so?”
“Oh, instead of thinking you were boring or dull, I thought you were reliable and trustworthy. Instead of thinking you were a workaholic, I thought that it would be nice to be with a man who was loyal and wouldn’t go running off after another woman the moment he got bored or there was an argument.”
There was a pause. “That sounds like a good arrangement.”
“It would be. Every woman wants to be able to trust the man she loves. I’ve never had that.” I rolled my head around so I could look at him. “I really loved how kind you were to my sister. Kindness means a lot to me. That earns my loyalty more than anything else because neither Nadia nor I are used to much kindness in the world.”
The silence stretched longer. A tiny drop of remorse was mingled in with my relief of learning that my drink had been tampered with. The brief moments of imagining that I was attracted to Zafir and feeling like he might be attracted back had been nice. For a short time, when he had beenhelping Nadia, it had almost felt like we were a family. His protecting her felt even better than if he had protected me. Now, I was brought back to the harsh reality that true romance wasn’t in my future. Everything between me and Zafir was a web of lies and deceit.
“It’s a good thing you weren’t double-dosed,” Zafir said. “You’re handling it much better than I did. I didn’t even need to lock myself into the washroom.”
“I’m surprised I was able to resist it so well.”
“You might continue to have it affect you for some time; the women’s infatuation elixir takes longer to wear off. I think that I need more commentary. I was double-dosed so you owe me. And it would be helpful to know what attracted you. Just in case Julian asks or something,” he added hastily.
“I guess that’s fair,” I conceded. “What do you want to know?”
“Think back to before you realized the potion was taking effect. What seemed attractive to you?”
“The…the way you style your goatee so neatly. But that won’t help. Julian is clean-shaven.”
There was a rustle of bedsheets as Zafir raised a hand to stroke his chin. “What else?”
“I liked how you’re intelligent and knowledgeable, and I really admired how you fought to control yourself around me when you were under the elixir’s influence. But again, none of that applies to Julian.”
“Think of Julian then. What would attract you to him?”
I struggled to focus. “Well, for one thing, he didn’t forcibly handcuff me to himself. That’s nice.”
Zafir chuckled. “There is that.”
“He doesn’t insult me like you do.”
