“He’s missing out, then. Insulting you is great fun.”
I propped myself up on my elbow. “I didn’t think you knew the meaning of the wordfun.”
“I learned it with you here. You brighten my life every day we’re still chained together.”
I flopped back down. “You need to not say sweet things like that or this infatuation elixir will make me fall in love with you or something.”
There was a pause. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?”
“Certainly not. So go to sleep before you say anything else even remotely romantic that this stupid infatuation elixir will have me misinterpret. I may be a spiteful viper, but I’m still a woman, and romance does, apparently, work on me, at least a little. I didn’t try to tempt you when you were overdosed, so it’s your turn not to tempt me.”
“I didn’t realize it was even possible for me to be tempting to you,” he whispered, so softly I barely heard it.
“You were attracted to me when you were drugged, so you can’t make fun of me,” I told him. “Anything’s possible with an infatuation elixir.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Anything’s possible.”
Cicadas chirped their creaking melodies. I knew Zafir and I both needed to sleep, but I also wanted to hold on to the nice, nighttime Zafir for as long as possible.
“You would’ve liked my ex-husband’s house,” I told him suddenly. “It’s sort of like your wardrobe, but the whole house does your bidding. There is one room that’s filled with bottles and potions and spellbooks and things. I made many potions there.”
“What sort of potions were your favorites to make?”
“I made the Soulshade Tonic so often that I memorized the recipe.”
“I’m unfamiliar with that one; it must be exclusive to Brisden. What does it do?”
I hesitated then admitted, “It dispels loneliness. I disliked feeling alone all the time without my sister around. My husband and I rarely spoke to each other, and I didn’t have any friends. There weren’t even any servants to talk to.”
It was impossible to tell which was deeper—the silence or the darkness. I shouldn’t have confessed such a thing. I was never in the best frame of mind at night. Zafir was probably lying in bed thinking I was a complete fool.
Finally, his voice drifted through the darkness. “I’ve made the Stillheart Elixir more times than I can count. It suppresses intense emotions and I take it every morning. It usually wears off by the evening.”
“Is that why you do such an incredible impression of a statue during the day?”
Zafir let out a soft snort. “I’m not that stoic.”
“Why do you take it?”
It took Zafir a long time to answer. Finally, he said, “I’ve taken it every day since Jasmine died and I nearly killed Grathe. The pain of losing her was too great to bear alone, and the intensity of my rage frightened me.”
Compassion swelled in my chest. “I can see why you’d take it. If I’d lost Nadia, I’d do the same.” I paused. “Does the Stillheart suppress all intense feelings? Or only the negative ones?”
“All of them. You took a potion to rid yourself of one unpleasant emotion, but I routinely purge myself of them all, good and bad. I understand the desire to run from such feelings.”
If he had taken the Stillheart the morning before being dosed with an infatuation elixir, that would explain why his reaction had been so delayed at first. I propped myself up on my elbow. “I’d like to see what you act like without thatelixir in your system. I think being unable to feel true joy would be a tragedy.”
He ran a hand down his face. “Perhaps, but numbing pain is a powerful incentive. Besides, I don’t think I could handle your antics without some sort of countermeasure.”
“Oh, so it’s all my fault?”
“Only partially. Julian annoys me, too.” There was a hint of laughter in his voice. The Stillheart must have worn off, at least partially. No wonder he was always easier to get along with at night.
“Is there anyone who doesn’t annoy you?”
Zafir thought. “No. I even annoy myself sometimes.”
“Rightly so. Youarevery annoying. But I’ll make you a deal.”
