“You… you aren’t yourself,” I said, turning my face just enough that his lips brushed past my cheek instead of finding mine. “Remember, this is the potion talking, not you.”
His breath fanned across my skin, warm and uneven, and the hand holding me trembled as though every instinct in him was warring. His thumb dragged slowly along my neck, not possessive but unsteady, as if he were afraid of what his own touch might do.
I had nowhere left to retreat.
A second later, he breathed into my ear, “Alia, I’m begging you—get away from me. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold myself back. Lock yourself in the washroom.”
He released his hold and I ran to the washroom. I did as he said, locking the door behind me before sitting on the floor. I heard Zafir slide down the opposite side of the door.
“Are you okay?” I asked him after a few moments.
There was an answering groan of “Not really.”
“We knew it would give you some impulsive urges, and you resisted them as best you could. But I think you’re right;Julian wouldn’t have the same self-control. I’m lucky you sampled it first.”
He sighed. “Now I understand why infatuation elixirs are controlled substances.”
“We learned an important lesson, too: don’t double dose.”
“Clearly.”
Minutes trickled by.
“Zafir?” I asked after a long stretch of silence.
There was no answer.
“Zafir?” I asked again, wondering if an overdose of infatuation elixir had made him start frothing at the mouth or lose consciousness or some other horrible side effect. What had the book said?
“I love when you say my name,” came the response from behind the door. “Say it again.”
I heaved a sigh of relief. At least I knew he was alert, even if the potion hadn’t worn off yet.
There was a pause, then I heard Zafir’s voice again, much closer to his usual tone. “Once it’s safe for you to come out of the washroom, I need you to rip out my voice box and swear an oath that you’ll never repeat anything I said or did to anyone. Everything that’s come out of my mouth since drinking that blasted drink has been an embarrassment.”
“That’s nothing new,” I said, leaning back against the door. “You usually sound insufferable. Now you just have a heightened awareness of it.”
He let out a low groan. “I’m going to burn every copy of that elixir’s recipe in the entire city.”
“Ah yes, that’ll greatly improve your image,” I said with a smile. “You should also impose harsh penalties and flogging for any couple who so much as hold hands.” My fingerstwitched at the latch. “Are you…are you dizzy or anything? Are there any concerning side effects we should record?”
“No,” he muttered. “I’m just…just angry with myself. I thought I would stay in control better than I did.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. You overdosed and even then you resisted.”
“Not very well.” There was disgust in his voice. “You were afraid. I saw how you looked at me. No woman should ever fear a man like that.”
I licked my lips. There was no point in lying or claiming that he hadn’t frightened me a little. “I guess I hadn’t realized before that there was even the possibility of finding the limit to your self-control.”
“I hadn’t realized it either. I’ve always prided myself on the ability to stay level-headed.” Zafir took another deep breath. “Just stay in there a while longer.”
“Fine,” I said. “But when I come out, you’d better not be on the floor frothing at the mouth from some side effect you didn’t tell me about.”
“I’d never give you the satisfaction,” he said dryly. “Talk to your sister or something while we finish waiting.”
“I left the mirror in the bedroom,” I told him. “So I can’t talk to her right now. Besides, it looked like she was in hiding again, and I don’t want to make her talk and let someone hear her.”
For more than an hour, I waited. Zafir would occasionally mumble compliments, but it also sounded like he had his own hand pressed over his mouth, and they came slower and less frequently as the time passed.
