He’d always felt like a practical person more than a spiritual one, but there was something in that.
‘Do you have somewhere like this, where you feel like you’ve come home?’
‘No, I don’t have anywhere like that.’ She sounded matter-of-fact rather than sad.
‘You don’t feel like that about your home, or your family’s home?’
‘No. My flat in London is rented; it’s affordable, and that’s the only thing going for it. And my parents sold the house we grew up in as soon as we’d all moved out.’
‘Maybe it’s a good thing not to have the past to go back to all the time. Every time I go back to Loddefjord it’s like my parents should still be there. Nothing’s changed. It’s full of all our childhood memories as well as all their stuff, and sometime we’re going to have to deal with all of that. None of us wants to, which is why we haven’t. Your parents have done the hard part already.’
‘I hadn’t thought of it like that.’
‘I’m sorry, this is a morbid conversation. Shall we eat?’
‘Yes. How will we do that?’
‘I think a pan on top of the stove will work for the sausages.’
‘The whole place will smell of sausages for ever and a day. I think we should make a campfire.’
It would take longer, but she looked so excited at the prospect, he couldn’t say no.
‘Okay. We will need to collect some stones to make a fire circle.’
They both pulled their clothes on, then Mats put some logs on the fire to keep the cabin warm, because sitting outside, even next to a campfire was going to be chilly.
‘Do you think this is a good spot?’ Lotta asked, clutching a few rocks to her chest. She’d moved away from the cabin,but they were still surrounded by trees, and Mats felt like somewhere more open would be better.
‘Or next to the water?’
‘Yes! In that beautiful spot with the view of the mountains.’
They headed for the tip of the island with their arms full of stones and wood. Once they emerged from the trees, the light of the almost full moon lit their way.
Lotta spread her stones on the ground and went to collect more from the shoreline while Mats arranged some smaller twigs and pinecones to get the fire going.
‘I’ll go back for the food,’ she said.
‘I’ll come with you and fetch the chairs. We’ll get cold if we sit on the ground.’ He also worried that she would lose her bearings in the dark and miss their cabin.
‘This is so exciting,’ she said, grinning up at him as he put an arm around her shoulders.
‘I’m so happy you like it here,’ he said.
‘I love being here with you, Mats. It feels so special.’
He stopped walking and turned to kiss her. ‘It means everything to me that you feel like that.’
They fetched their food, more wood for the fire, and the two chairs from the cabin and some blankets, and headed back to the fire, which by now was ready for some bigger logs. Mats crouched down next to it and used a stick to encourage the fresh logs to nestle into the glowing heart of the fire, while Lotta arranged the sausages in the pan and then went to rinse her hands in the fjord.
‘Oh my god, it’s freezing!’ she shrieked, shaking her hands and running back to the fire.
Mats laughed. ‘Come here.’ She perched on his leg and warmed her hands over the fire, then he sat down and pulled her onto his lap.
‘What are we going to do when you live here?’
She said it so easily, but the reality that they’d suspended the moment they stepped onto the island came crashing down.
