She nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure.”
“No,” I said, feeling a calm wash over me. “Elia is the most important person in my life… I will forever be indebted to you, Zahra, for talking to him, for being there for him when I wasn’t.”
Her lips thinned in a close-lipped smile. “Yeah… of course.”
I stared at her for much longer, unable to shift my gaze.
Barely satisfied, I closed my eyes again, relaxing into her warmth before letting drowsiness retake me.
I was woken up a moment later, my state of mind a blur, as I was forced to sit up and drink whatever concoction Dog had prepared. It had me sweating, even after I had taken the drugs Upper and Elia had brought.
Elia had spoken directly to me, asking how I felt, and I responded with a nod, to which he let out a relieved breath.
A moment later, someone suggested putting on a movie.
Something calledTitanic, and there was a little argument about it. I didn’t really pay any heed to it; I was trying to relax and sink into the feeling of Zahra distractedly and discreetly drawing circles inside my palm while she hurled insults at Dog, insults that sounded so crude I wanted to shield my ears.
“How the fuck do you watchTitanicwhile you’re kind of in the middle of the ocean?”
“It makes it feel more real.”
“No, that shit is scary.”
They were all bringing back my headache with their back-and-forth, but I kept quiet.
There was junk everywhere, the room wasn’t empty; I could no longer hear the loud quiet. It was no longer lonely, and when they all agreed to watch the movie, it was quiet again but comfortable.
I don’t know how long it was, but it was a long time because the big screen began to display a sinking ship; everyone had a solemn look on their face, including Zahra, who had a sad frown on her face.
Me, I did not like what I was watching on the screen. I did not like the chaos or the screams from the actors; I did not like the music in the background. I did not like the death and the hysteria.
My vision blurred, and in my head, all I could hear, all I could see, was the fire, the screams from my siblings and my mother, the chaos.
I closed my eyes, relaxing back on the couch and letting my head rest on Zahra’s shoulder, begging for sleep.
But for once, I didn’t really have to beg; it came… though it took its precious time; but with the quiet noise in the background, the warmth from Zahra’s shoulder and her hold against my hand, I drifted off to sleep, and allowed the day’s trauma to slip out of me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Elio
“You are foolish, boy! How do you go to ocean and not take blood test first! You want to die? You want to be fish food?” Gran Louisa exclaimed, her face zoomed in on the screen of Gemma’s phone, and her eyes filled with worry and concern for me.
This thing calledgenuine care…it felt strange, different, and overwhelming.
I’d utterly neglected and underestimated the progression of things after Street came into my life. It used to be Casmiro and Angelo I worried about because I was satisfied with Elia’s hatred for me, but now it wasn’t just them; now it was Elia, Zahra, Gemma, Gran Louisa, Casmiro, Angelo, and maybe even Street if I were to give it a stretch.
“I never knew I would catch a fever, Gran Louisa,” I told her with an apologetic look.
“Yes, Nonna, he was so healthy when we got here,” Gemma said from her position on the couch beside me, Sailor against her chest, Mimi sleeping by my side.
“Can you tell when death will come? No. You have to prepare to make it go before it come. Fever is bad. Fever kill Gaida child at age sixteen. Remember Gaida from church, the Gaida who wear black lipstick every day?” she said, her lips pursed as if to drive her point home.
“Yeah, Nonna, but Elio is better now. He had some friends over, and they took care of him. His new girlfriend was here too!”
Gran Louisa’s eyes widened, a shocked gasp leaving her. “You have girlfriend now, Elio?”
I turned my head to pin Gemma with a stare, and she beamed at me.
