“Forget about me. I’m nothing; I ruined us. I’m one bad dream, another black spot in your past because, truth be told, if I could turn back time to when we were underground, I would choose myself over each and every single one of you. Over and over again. That’s who I am. That’s Zahra Faizan.”
“I bet you’re proud of it,” Dog seethed.
“Oh yes, I’m very fucking proud,” I said. “I started this whole thing. Not because I wanted a family or friends. I had a job to do; I needed the perfect pretense, and Street was created. I succeeded. I got what I wanted, and now I don’t really need any of you anymore.”
“You are fucking disgusting,” Milk said.
“You’re not the first one to tell me that; get in line, Pen.”
“You carry on like this,” Dog said, “and your ego will be the very fucking thing to kill you, mark my words.”
I swallowed, pausing a second before I spoke. “Yeah, already marked,” I said. “Like Milk said, Street was a means to an end for me, and this is that end. Hope you all have good fucking lives,” I said, maintaining a stoic look as I turned and stepped out of the room. The mask I had put on my face fell immediately. I covered my mouth with my hand as tears fell freely from my eyes while I rushed to the elevator, tapping it repeatedly until it opened. I stepped in, collapsing against the wall, sliding down when the doors closed.
Sobs left me. I didn’t shield them because my heart was breaking, and I was letting it break because I didn’t want this—I didn’t want this at all.
But I was cursed, and I’d spent the past six years escaping that curse, but now it had caught up with me.
I could never be happy—nor could I have anything good. I wasn’t born to escape a miserable life; I was born into it, and I would die being miserable. That was the curse attached to every Plant.
Cursed to be lonely, never to be loved, only to be used and controlled. I had found a way to eradicate being used and controlled, but the loneliness would forever remain, and I allowed myself to dream.
But not anymore—now was the time to ensure no child was born with that curse ever again.
Now was the time to destroy the MCSS; I couldn’t be weak. Not now, when I was at the start of another race.
I just had one more stop before I took off on the run.
I pulled out my phone from my pocket, calling Vitale. He picked up on the first ring.
“Faizan.”
“I took care of Street. I’m pretty sure they’ll be out of Italy in the coming weeks.”
It was quiet until he asked softly,“Are you okay?”
“No.” I sniffed. “Spread the word, get everything in order, and tell everyone.” I wiped my tears. “Tell every motherfucker that I’m coming back to my city.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Elio
Loyaltywas a word I liked to think resonated with who I was as a person—at least, most times, in certain situations.
An outsider looking in might be the first to think otherwise; not everyone knew who I was, but everyone made assumptions based on what they saw and heard.
Yes, I might be a liar. I might say one thing and then do the opposite, but if I made a promise or an affirmation to someone I cared about, I was bound to follow through. I was constrained to honor it in a form best suited for the situation, no matter how adverse it might be for the person or how much they despised my methods of keeping a promise.
Of course, not everyone was built this way, and I completely understood that. I understood many things I should probably question, but my heart, mind, and being had pushed my head into withholding my suspicions and keeping my conclusions to myself until I heard from her.
Until I heard from Zahra—I raised the flash drive I had been holding on to for a day—until she told me why exactly her name was imprinted on this drive.
Why she had left the underground with the flash drives, accompanied by people she had never once mentioned.
Why she had left behind her friends. Not once looking back.
I knew she would be here; I counted the hours, the minutes, and the seconds. I was ignoring the doubts tearing through myinsides, little by little, knowing she would come back to me, and even if she didn’t return for me, she would return for this drive and whatever content it held.
After all, that might have been the reason she was here in the first place.
