“Nobody’s winning anyone over around here tonight,” I protest.
“Mind if I grab a burger, then?” she teases.
“Yes. I do.” I lift the bag off my chair and set it on the far side of my station.
“That’s what I thought.”
I look at Laura. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what, exactly?”
“I can’t date. I’ve got two four-year-olds and a full-time job. My life’s a mess. I love my life—love my boys. But I’m in no position to date or … even accept this bag of food. I’m tired, stretched thin, and this body …” I wave my hand up and down myself. “... has given birth and fed babies and … is not what it used to be.”
“So?”
“So, I’m not a young single woman. I should have told him no thanks. He could have taken the food home and eaten off it for a week.”
I stare at the bag, secretly glad I took it, but equally guilty that I might have led EJ to believe anything could develop between us.
“Looks like that ship has sailed considering EJ’s truck already pulled away and you are the woman in possession of quite a large order from Mad River.”
“I couldn’t tell him no after he went to all those lengths.”
“If you were single with no kids …?” Laura presses.
“I don’t wish away my boys. Not ever.”
“Obviously, but if you were single? Would EJ be the type of guy you’d consider dating?”
“If I were single? And he just brought me a meal at the end of a long day, and smiled at me like he still thinks I’m something to look at after cutting hair and sweeping and standing on my feet for ten hours? I’d definitely let him take me to dinner. I’d probably even cook him dinner. But I’m not single with no kids, so that’s not even a road I want to travel in my imagination.”
Laura nods. “He’s obviously got a thing for you.”
“He’s sweet. And funny. But, I can’t.”
“I get it. Sort of.”
I can’t make her understand. Laura and Rob are still childless—by choice, mostly. Though she said they’re consideringadoption down the road. You can never fully understand the sacrifices a parent willingly makes until you’re a parent yourself.
“Well, I’d better get going,” I say. “I’ll have just enough time to feed them and get to the meeting if I leave right now.”
“Get going then,” Laura says. “I’ll lock up.”
We say goodnight and I carry the bag out through the back of the shop to my car. Then I drive home and surprise my boys with burgers and fries. They’re ecstatic. I rarely get takeout. We practically inhale dinner, then I load them into their car seats and we drive to the Community Center.
I give them each a drawing pad, crayons and some Hot Wheels and they play at my feet while I sit in one of the chairs at the back of the room, trying to focus on the details of the meeting.
I sign the salon up to run the kettle corn booth.
Weber represents the firefighters. EJ’s nowhere in sight. Not that I’m looking.
If EJ were here, I’d have the boys thank him for dinner.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I don’t want to make EJ seem significant to them. As far as they’re concerned, he’s just one of the Bordeaux firefighters.
