“I thought you just didn’t want those things because you get bored quickly,” Gracie said. She appeared offended by what I’d said. “You’ve never told me you don’t think you’d be a good partner or a good father.”
“It’s never really come up. Everyone wants different things. I like focusing on work. Surrounding myself with family and good friends. Dating and getting to know different women, at least when I’m in a place where I want to do that.” I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck. “I’m good at those things. The idea of failing someone I love doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Boom. There it is.” Melody pretended to drop the invisible mic. “It’s all fear-based. I think you want things that you’re afraid to want.”
“And what if we all just want different things?” I pressed. “Not everyone wants the fairytale ending. Some of us have different ideas of what that is.”
“You know I support whatever you want, Bear,” Gracie said. “But if it’s fear that’s holding you back, you’re robbing yourself of something great. And I can speak with complete confidence that there is no one who would be a better husband and father than you. And that’s the truth.”
“Look at you two trying to marry me off.” I shifted in my seat, avoiding Gracie’s gaze, before forcing a laugh. “You need not worry. I’m good, I promise. I’m happy with my life and the way that I’ve set it up. But I hear you, and I appreciate the insight.”
There was a lot of truth to what Melody had said.
I knew that a part of me had changed when my mom got sick. I wasn’t in denial about that.
At the time, the thought of losing her was more than I could process.
And sure, I was fairly certain those feelings would cause me to look at life differently.
I was aware of that.
But changing it was a whole different story.
Because I never wanted to feel that again.
fourteen
. . .
Gracie
Melody was excitedabout being here for the Fourth of July, because the celebrations were endless this weekend. This town of ours loved any reason to throw a party, and tourists were out in droves. We’d gone to country music night at Down by the Bay, and the place was going off. It was packed with all the locals mixed with all the tourists who were currently here for the holiday weekend, and to spend time on the lake.
Blue Sky did not take holiday weekends lightly. The entire town was decorated with red, white, and blue ribbons wrapped around all the streetlights on Bay Avenue, and red flower baskets hung from up above. We’d just watched an amazing fireworks show, and now we were out on the dance floor having a good time.
I’d learned my lesson a few weeks ago, so I was not drinking shots tonight. Melody and Jovi were having a good time drinking, and Tatum and I were sticking to beer this time around.
My gaze kept moving to where Cutler sat back at the table. I swear the man didn’t need to move off his barstool, and women just flocked to him.
It had always been that way.
He rubbed his hand over his jaw, and I had a flashback of the feel of his scruff between my thighs. It was all I’d thought about over the last few weeks.
His head tipped back with laughter when Sydney said something to him as she sat on the stool across from him.
And I had this sudden, overpowering urge to walk over and interrupt them.
I hated this weird jealousy that I was feeling.
His words last night just before Melody arrived were playing on repeat in my head.
Having you come on my lips was the highlight of my year. And watching you take my cock between your lips was a close second.
He’d also said he had no desire to be with anyone else right now, which had caught me off-guard. I was terrified that I’d made him uncomfortable, but apparently, he was totally fine with what we’d done.
He was a guy who was used to casual relationships.
I was the one with all the hang-ups.
