“No.”
“Do you want to date anyone?”
“No. How can I date someone when I’m in love with Cutler? It doesn’t matter where I live,” I said with a shrug. I took a sip of my chardonnay. “I don’t want anyone else.”
She leaned closer and smiled. “So why not just tell him that and make it official?”
“Because it’s selfish. I’d be asking him to be committed to me, when I live on the other side of the country and I don’t know how long I’ll be here. The man has needs.”
“You have needs too, and you aren’t tempted to be with anyone else. Maybe he feels the same way.”
“I don’t know. He sounded very distracted when I spoke to him yesterday, and I haven’t heard from him today. He’s probably tired of this arrangement. I can’t blame him. That’s why I didn’t put any sort of plan together. It’s just—harder than I thought it would be. But at the same time, I’m proud of myself for doing this. I need to give this a shot. The experience is incredible, and I’m being challenged every day.”
She smiled. “I’m proud of you too.”
“Okay, tell me your plans for tonight.”
“Do you want to go with me and my roommate to a Halloween party at a frat house tonight?”
My head fell back with laughter. “Absolutely not. I’m far too old for that. But tell me, is that cute guy from your economics class going to be there?”
“Yes. He’s the one who asked me to come. But I can’t tell if I like him yet. He’s giving me player vibes.”
“Well, trust your gut. But go and have some fun. It’s your last year of college. What are you wearing?” I asked, taking a sip of my wine.
“Do you promise you won’t laugh?”
“Never.”
“I’m going as Jane Austen.” She shrugged as a wide grin spread across her face. “She wrote my favorite book, and I’m channeling my inner Regency era. I love the way they dressed back then. I found something at this secondhand store, and I’m adding a vintage-looking brooch that I have from my grandmother, and then a cute headband. So, if the playboy is looking for a sexy kitty, he’ll realize quickly I’m not that girl.”
“Well, you are a business major with an English literature minor—that makes you the most interesting girl in the room at most parties.”
She chuckled, and we sat there talking and drinking wine for the next hour while her phone kept vibrating with missed calls.
“It’s my roommate. I should get going—I need to get my costume together.”
“Okay. You have to send me a pic of this magnificent costume. And if you get drunk and you need me to come get you, just call me. I’ll be home working.” I stood up and hugged her.
“You don’t have a car,” she pointed out.
“I’ll Uber to you and get you home safely, because being dressed as a woman from the 1800s is going to attract a lot of attention.” We both laughed.
“Love you, Gracie. I’ll text you later. Don’t work too late. You’re young and you’re hot,” she added with a chuckle. “You need to have some fun.”
“Love you. Be safe.” I waved as I stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the café, and she turned in the opposite direction.
I pulled my coat tighter and glanced down at my phone to see if Cutler had replied. I hadn’t heard from him today, which was very unlike him.
I walked toward my apartment building and smiled when a group of kids ran by in costumes. A woman in an elegant white trench coat strode in my direction, and I glanced down at her dachshund, who was also wearing a white coat. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. I’d sent Cutler a Halloween costume for Meatball, and I’d insisted he put it on him when he received it two days ago and then send me a photo.
He was a giant candy kiss, wrapped in faux foil with a tag coming out of the top of his head. I’d requested a selfie of the two of them, and it was now my screen saver.
My chest ached when I thought about Cutler.
I missed him in a way that I couldn’t explain.
I tipped my head back and looked up at the gray sky as a breeze bustled past me. Then I crossed the street and arrived at my building, where I came to an abrupt stop.
