Alina looked down, answered as quietly as Alexei had asked.
“I don’t go see them as often anymore. Maybe every other week, if that. I don’t…I don’t go to church with them anymore. Things are strained. I think Mom’s close to breaking. I can tell in her eyes, you know?”
Alexei exhaled.
“But she won’t do anything without his permission.”
“Yeah,” Alina whispered. “I don’t think so, either.”
“I’m not hopeful, Alina,” Alexei said after a beat. “That kind of hope, for something that might not ever come, it’s draining, you know? I’m not going to waste my life on hope for them.”
Alina was quiet a moment. Then she nodded.
“Yeah.” She looked over at him, a blaze of defiance in her eyes. “You shouldn’t. I won’t, either.”
She reached over and twined their fingers together.
“Yeah,” she said again softly, as if she were talking to herself. “Good.”
Alexei squeezed her hand.
“You’re never getting rid of me, though,” she added. Alexei smiled. Let the promise wash over him, until it settled deep inside.
Their cones were half done, their fight against dripping vanilla-chocolate twist now firmly in favor of the ice cream. They battled on for a few minutes longer until Alina removed her hand from Alexei’s to wrap the sticky remains in a napkin, walking away to dump it in the trash can. Alexei finished his last bites in triumph as she returned, throwing his chocolatey hands in the air.
“You do know,” she said, “that you are a massive dork. And yet, somehow, you will still always be the coolest person in the world to me.”
Alexei almost choked as the last bits of cone made their way down his esophagus.
“You think I’mcool?”
“God, Alexei, are you dense sometimes. You’re my big brother! I’ve always worshipped you, and it’s wild that you don’t know.Of courseI remember when you bought me those Little Debbies. That was the coolest Christmas of my entire life! You were always way smarter than me, way more talented with music stuff; it was always a struggle to keep up with you. And, like, now? Not only did you have the courage to come out to our dumb parents, but then you hiked thePacific Crest Trail? I mean, I’m only telling you this because you look like hell and you smell really bad, so don’t make me ever repeat any of this stuff again, but I’m so proud of you, I could cry.”
She didn’t cry.
But Alexei did. And he laughed, which somehow felt right, too.
“Don’t worry.” He sniffed into her shoulder as she wrapped him in another hug. “I will never make you repeat any of that again.”
She squeezed him harder.
“I will if you need me to.”
“I know. You know I’m proud of you, too, right?”
“Yeah,” she said, and Alexei thought maybe her voice sounded a little stuffed up, too. “I know.”
Eventually, Alina stepped back. They both wiped at their eyes, laughing a little more.
“Anyway,” she said. “Not to rush you off or anything, but you have to cross the bridge now.”
“What?” Alexei laughed harder. “Just because you made me cry doesn’t mean you’re the boss of me now. I was thinking I’d take a little break here. The trail here from Mount Hood was brutal, Alina. I’m serious; I can barely walk.”
“No.” She shook her head, smiling. “I’mserious, Alexei. You have to cross the bridge now.”
Alexei’s smile dropped.
“Alina,” he said. “Why do I have to cross the bridge?”
