I shrugged sheepishly.“Well, yeah. I’m an experienced climber. You know that I can handle that.”
“I do, but out here in the middle of nowhere, alone? Betty,” he chastised.“And if you’re so experienced, why does the rope appear frayed?”
I shrugged defensively.“Yeah, so… well. We’ll get to that part later.” I waved him away.
He looked at me, seeing right through my bullshit. His eyes were swollen but earnest.“I’m trying to keep you safe, and you’re making that damn near impossible.”
I dropped my chin, looking into my lap. I felt ashamed.
“I don’t think you understand the extent of the danger, and that’s my fault,” he continued.
I began gathering snow into a pile in front of me.“I just wanted to make sure my family was safe. I wasn’t trying to, like, run away or be stupid. Nash, Sybil and my dad are my entire universe. I thought if I could just let them know I was safe, and to be safe themselves, then I could relax.”
“You don’t trust me,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation, but spoken like a fact.
It was my turn to scrutinize him.“If you were me, would you?” I asked.
He seemed to have nothing to say to that.
It was true, for all we had between us, we also had very little. I knew Gray on a surface level—in an odd offshoot of reality that only existed in New York. It’d been a mistake spending the last few weeks avoiding him when I should have been trying to understand this version of him instead. But I couldn’t shelf these very real feelings and concerns in order to play forest fae with this man.
Fear and desperation consumed me, drove me.
Maybe if I’d been working on building trust, I would have been able to quell the fear. I didn’t have to shoulder this burden alone. If I’d listened instead of fighting him, he would have let me in. Instead, I’d given him every reason to hide information for fear I’d do something stupid to jeopardize my life—as Ihad. If we could just trust each other, all of this would have been easy.
“Can we start over?” I blurted.
He rubbed a hand down his wet and ruddy face.“Let’s just get back to the cabin, and then we can have a conversation about this, okay?”
Aside from the damage I’d done with the bear spray, I could also see the underlying exhaustion in his features. How long had he been out here looking for me? All night, at least. Had he even slept?
I nodded.“Do you want me to drive?” I asked, trying to make it sound cheerful and helpful.“So you can relax?”
He scowled, but conceded in that way men do: with a grumble and a resigned look on his face.
Chapter 22
Gray
I had emotions, and a lot of them—anger, relief, pain, and warring desire, all swirling together.
Betty kneeled to pick up my shotgun from the snow before hitching an arm around my waist and helping me find our way back to the snowmobile. She tucked the gun under her arm, and it hung there with a wobble as we walked, making me nervous.
It was obvious she’d never held a shotgun before. The impulse to show her how surfaced, if only I could persuade her to remain here and try. It wouldn’t hurt for her to learn in case she ever needed to use it on her own—or if she ever left and took it with her.
Letting Betty leave would be reckless, yet if it’s what she wanted, it wasn’t my place to keep her. After all, she wasn’t reallymine, not if the last few weeks proved anything. Detaining her against her will was harming us and the relationship that could be.
However, a conversation was in order. I needed to be transparent with her so she could arrive at a well-considered and knowledgeable decision about what to do next. All I could do was have faith in her intellect and hope she’d approach the reality of our situation with an open mind.
I could see a small and blurry ball of golden-brown fluff through my tears, sitting on the seat of the snowmobile as we approached.“Is that Larry?” I asked.
She huffed.“Yes, little butthole. Did you know he sat in the tree getting fat and sassy while I hung from that rope you saw? Absolutely zero help.”
“Hung from the rope?” I asked, edge in my voice.
She chuckled nervously.“Yeah, it’s quite the story. You’re going to love it. I’d have gotten back sooner if I hadn’t literally been stuck hanging around for half the day.”
I didn’t have the bandwidth to understand just yet, so I didn’t push for elaboration.
