“I have learned something new about myself.”
“Indeed?”
The carriage wheels bumped and rolled. And Sophia’s secrets jostled each other, nudging forward to be heard first. Where to begin?
“Something happened while you were away two months ago, and it has changed the way I think about everything.”
“Oh?” Papa cast his gaze to the window. “You would rather discuss this than enjoy the view?”
“It is more important.”
“We so rarely take a ride together. Surely, it can wait.”
“No. It can’t.”
“Hmm, perhaps I misunderstood your desire for time outdoors.”
“That’s not it. I…”
Realization hit her squarely between the eyes. He was afraid! Terrified, even. She knew, because all too recently, she had lived within fear’s suffocating grip. She recognized its symptoms—the way he licked his dry lips, the fact that he could not look her in the eye, the numerous attempts at deflecting the conversation elsewhere. He was scared of what she would say. He did not want to hear her truth. He was not ready to confront that pain within himself.
Well, she was. She must push through the murky waters of her past toward the light, no matter how small each stroke. Tobias had shown her how to kick her way to the surface, instead of drowning in the past. The sweetness of her first breath of true freedom was within reach. And Sophia wanted to share its intoxicating reward with those she loved.
It was time to teach her father how to swim.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Tobias was pacingagain. Lord Carthige had quite given up on his reading. He sat, fingers steepled, waiting for his nephew to subside a little.
“How will I see her again?” Tobias demanded of the universe in general and his uncle in particular. “If Mr. Grant has discarded a predictable schedule, Sophia and I cannot meet. How am I supposed to convince her to marry me if I cannot speak to her face to face?”
“I did warn you it would not be easy,” his uncle reminded him.
“You did not say why!”
“I was unfamiliar with the full extent of the situation. I knew the death of his wife cast a lasting shadow over that house. I knew they kept largely to themselves. But I had no idea the extreme consequences Grant would enforce should his children choose to marry. I would not have encouraged you to pursue the matter if I had known.”
“But Ididpursue it. And my heart is fully invested in Miss Grant. I cannot give up now. She has overcome so many challenges. What sort of man would I be if I just left her to fend for herself? She needs to know I will stand by her, no matter what.”
“And will you?”
“Yes! I just don’t know how.”
“You will have to make up your mind sooner rather than later, I’m afraid.”
Tobias swiveled to face his uncle. “What do you mean?”
“Come autumn, I will be traveling to Italy.”
“Italy? That is very sudden.”
“Not at all. I have been giving it some thought for a while now. We would have spoken of it sooner. But you have been…distracted.”
“How long will you be away?”
“At least six months. I had intended for you to join me. I will be frequenting the museums and art galleries and studying ancient manuscripts. It is the sort of experience you would be well suited to.” Uncle Edmund chewed his lip ponderously. “I had thought, if Miss Grant were to become Mrs. Mannerly, she would benefit from visiting there also. The winters in southern Italy are milder than ours, which would be kind to her health. And she would no doubt cross paths with some of the great literary artists who are drawn there as we are.”
“It is a very generous offer, Uncle. I wish I could be sure Sophia would come. As things stand, though, I can be sure of nothing.”
