WHEN I REACHED MYroom, I dismissed Havah the moment she finished drawing my bath. I sank into the soothing heat with a sigh. But the peace was short lived.
Havah returned before I’d had a minute to myself. “Your father expects you to sit beside King Amir at dinner tonight,” she told me, laying out my towel. “He said you’ll be announcing your engagement—a thousand blessings on your wedding, I didn’t know! Which dress should I set out for the evening?”
“I didn’t know either,” I told the ceiling, not wanting to see the misplaced jealousy on her face any more than I wanted to hear it. “Pick whatever looks good. I’d like a few moments alone, please.”
She left in a huff, but as soon as she closed the door I felt relief from her thoughts. The walls muted them as they would a voice, and for that at least, I could be grateful. I needed to think of a plan.
Our little kingdom was small, but it wasn’t defenseless. If Amir decided to threaten us, maybe we could fight. We had the sea on one side and the benefit of height on the other. There was only one winding road up to our little fortress and it was well-protected.
Staring into the bubbles, I smacked the water. It didn’t sound like Amir planned to go home or even leave our castle between now and the wedding.
I pictured the stables, where my favorite horse had his own stall, no doubt being groomed and fed right now. How hard would it be to sneak away? Steal down to the stables in the dead of night, saddle up, and ride off? I could seek refuge in a neighboring kingdom... No, Amir’s men would stop me before I left the castle gates.
I gave up on relaxing, splashing my way out of the tub. Drying off, I heaved the towel at the wall, wishing it would smash and break instead of land without any impact at all. I felt equally useless.
Straightening my shoulders, I called for Havah to return and help me dress. I didn’twantto leave. I loved my father. I wanted to rule. And I couldn’t imagine life away from him and my home. As Havah did my hair, I clenched my jaw at the two young women in the mirror. There had to be a way out of this.
***
BY DINNER, MY HAIRwas dry and I’d calmed down. This would all be handled by the end of the meal. I hadn’t endured years of training in court etiquette just to let one difficulty ruin my entire life. This wasmykingdom.
The royal court milled about in the Great Hall, conversing, waiting for my father and I to be seated before finding their tables. A wave of their thoughts, mostly unclear, surged over me.
“To the high Shazada, much beauty,” a girl said. She was just a year or two younger than myself, displaying a crown of dark braids and a shocking ability to bow so low in such a tight dress.
I hid a smile as I dipped my chin and accepted her wishes, returning my own. “To the daughter of Marzban-Shah, many admirers,” I replied, remembering how she’d turned down a sour proposal. If only I could take her aside for some tips on how to do the same.
Maybe she could help me,the girl thought even as she stood. Her smile trembled and her eyes blinked too much, something I may not have noticed without the thought. Why did she want help? When I stared too long, she blushed and apologized, melting away into the crowd. Only when she turned her back did I remember: she was the Gifted girl. Maybe a part of me had wanted to forget. A very large, guilty part. I swore to myself I would try to help her the moment I resolved my unwanted engagement.
One difficulty at a time.
I moved through the room, greeting everyone who approached.
“To the high princess, a happy marriage.”
“To the Madani family...” I struggled to find a response, “much wealth.”
“To the high Shazada, a blessed marriage.”
I wanted to groan. “To the Berange-Shah... a good day.” It was a disgraceful response, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I picked up my pace, making my way toward the raised dais at the front of the room where I would sit with my father and King Amir, and hopefully avoid any further conversation.
When my father and King Amir joined me, I managed a smile, though it was mostly teeth. The king didn’t seem to notice, only nodding as he pulled out his chair. I expected to hear my father’s thoughts about my attitude, even if he didn’t voice them, but there was only silence. Strange.
Across the room, everyone sat at the long tables, and a hush fell. The pressure of their thoughts increased.
Such a pretty dress,an unfamiliar woman’s voice.
This engagement ruins everything,another woman.She was meant to marry my son!
I’d grown accustomed to not reacting during meals, but still I flinched. This wedding wouldnothappen!
With a flourish, the musicians played a rolling trill of excitement to signal the start of the feast, and the silence broke. I breathed a soft sigh as the noise level returned to normal, the music plucking along light and airy. Everyone’s focus returned to their food. Amir patted the hound who lay at his feet.
The first course was served. Stewed venison from my father’s hunt last week, prepared with flavoured sauces, herbs, and spices. The servants held out bowls of water for us to wash our hands before we ate, but Amir waved them away. “I’ve already washed,” he told them.
I blinked when they didn’t react, glancing at my father when Amir dipped his dirty fingers directly into the bread trencher before us, ripping off a piece. The stale bread from the kitchen that served as a thick long plate was meant for holding food, not for eating, but Amir ignored dinner etiquette altogether.
Baba frowned. “Even a king should respect his peers and wash for dinner.”
