Me:SIGH. I guess it was a way of getting attention, like those asshole boys throwing balls at the girls they like in gym class. I’m pissed at myself for not being more mature.
Cole:Oh, you most definitely have my attention. You had it then too, before I started seeing Millie. I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know my ass from my elbow.
Me:That’s a shame. It’s a fine ass.
I’m grinning as I type it.
Cole:Takes one to know one. You know, I thought you were going to leave this place in your rearview. I’m not. I never have been. So I didn’t think it would work.
There’s something painful in my chest when I read that, because when I was younger, when I used to daydream that Auggie was some famous programmer or web developer, I thought maybe I’d leave Highland Hills too. But I grew up and realized that home sometimes has claws that bite into you and don’t let you wander.
Me:Nope. We’re both stuck in this dump. Might as well make the most of it by being stuck together.
Cole:I don’t think I mind being stuck. Not if Jane’s here. Not if you’re here.
Me:What about Horacio? You seemed like you were really turning a corner with him earlier.
Then, because I know I’m glib when I want to avoid being vulnerable, I add:I don’t mind either. Of course, it helps that my future brother-in-law is a billionaire who has bankrolled my app.
He doesn’t answer right away, and I find myself imagining what he’s up to. The brewery’s closed by now, but is he still working? Maybe he’s upstairs in his apartment. Jane’s undoubtedly in bed, according to the timetable he shared with me the other night, but maybe she’s having trouble sleeping, and she came to talk to him. It twists my heart a little to think of it. Of him making her a cup of tea or hot milk, or whatever the hell it is eight-year-olds drink to get sleepy, and snuggling with her on the couch. She looks so little next to him, so…goddammit, it’s pretty precious, is all. Like a Hallmark card or one of those movies that you can’t admit to anyone you actually like. Speaking of which: what movies do they watch together? Surely notBridgerton or The Hating Game.If there’s an adult Jane watches them with, my money’s on her nanny.
The image in my head is so real, I can almost touch it, and I feel a longing that frankly surprises me.
Which is the only reason I laugh when Cole finally writes back.
Cole:I’ll have to talk to you later, Holly. Jane’s projectile vomiting.
